The Nice
Guy Image: Learn What First Impressions Can Instantly Turn Women Off
Little girls grow up listening to fairy
tales about Prince Charming and the Knight in Shining Armor. They see their
fathers as big strong men who will protect them from all the bad things in
the world. And so these Cinderella 'wannabe's' end up looking for a man who
is:
-
Strong
enough to protect her from all the bad people in the world
-
Smart enough to make lots of money and give her everything
she likes
-
Extremely handsome, kind,
gentle and respectful toward women
-
Willing
to kill a monster in a heartbeat but so gentle that he would never ever even
make her cry
-
A fantastic and well-endowed lover who instantly turns
her on
These
women grow up thinking a man needs all of these qualities so that they can
live happily ever after with him. In other words, she is looking for a creature
that cannot exist.
Why? Because their fantasy man has no flaws,
no weaknesses, no opinions - in others words no real substance as a human
being. If such a creature did exist, he would bore most women to tears in
just a few hours. Women don't realize that on a subconscious level they usually
avoid men who remind them of Mr. Perfect. How's that? Because women view
them as weak, and 'weak' translates into
-
not being able to protect
her in the
cave
-
not being able to keep
the family safe from
intruders
-
not being strong enough
to hunt for food and feed her and their
offspring
-
not being assertive enough
to achieve goods that would provide her and the children with all their nesting
needs.
So here's
what women tell us are some specific behaviors that are sure to turn them
off:
Fawning
over us and acting like a lost puppy dog - remember we want a man who
will protect us, not one we have to mother. Respect is a major component
of a woman loving a man. We need to be able to respect you which means we
need to see strength, decency, conviction and purpose in you.
Not making the first move - no matter
who asks who to go out on a date, most women still want the guy to make the
first move beyond that point. Women like to feel that we are desirable, and
also that you are able to take charge in an emergency and get the job done
right. If you want us, let us know.
Not letting us see your passions - we
want a man who will bring out the inner passion in us and make us want him
as much as he wants us. In other words, we want good sex and good sex requires
your passion - for us.
Not expressing your opinions - we know
you have them and they will eventually come out and we really do like to
know what we are getting into before things progress to
far.
Not
being assertive - we want to know a man is capable of taking over a situation
and keeping us safe. Assertiveness represents strength to us, and strength
represents security. We need to see your assertive side - your 'take charge'
side - and these observations may be had just by you doing simple things
like getting a better table at a restaurant, or catching the mouse in the
pantry.
Being
too complacent, compliant, or trying to please us too much - we feel
a strong attraction to a man who needs to be 'fixed'. It gives us something
to work for and that keeps us hooked and attracted to the man. As Robin
Norwood once summed it up so very well: "We find the unstable man exciting,
the unreliable man challenging, the unpredictable man romantic, the immature
man charming, the moody man mysterious. The angry man needs our understanding.
The unhappy man needs our comforting. The inadequate man needs our encouragement,
and the cold man needs our warmth. But we cannot "fix" a man who is fine
just as he is."
Bottom Line: The Mr. Nice Guy image doesn't
let us see who you really are. It scares us away and makes us feel that you
wouldn't be able to 'save' us from the evil beast nor slay the dragon. We
need to see who you really are - a man - because a woman wants a man
who wants her, who turns her on, who is capable of protecting her, who can
provide her and the children with a safe and comfortable 'cave', and who
is a person she can respect and trust not to deliberately hurt her. In other
words, she is looking for a strong and good friend with a benefits
package.
For more information about getting over
the Mr. Nice Guy image, please read
Why Women Love Bastards,
by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.
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