The Nice Guy Image: Learn
What First Impressions Can Instantly Turn Women Off
Little girls grow up listening to fairy tales about Prince Charming and
the Knight in Shining Armor. They see their fathers as big strong men
who will protect them from all the bad things in the world. And so
these Cinderella 'wannabe's' end up looking for a man who is:
enough to protect her from all the bad people in the world
- Smart enough to make lots of money and
give her everything she likes
handsome, kind, gentle and respectful toward women
- Willing to kill a monster in a
heartbeat but so gentle that he would never ever even make her cry
fantastic and well-endowed lover who instantly turns her on
women grow up thinking a man needs all of these qualities so that they
can live happily ever after with him. In other words, she is looking
for a creature that cannot exist.
their fantasy man has no flaws, no weaknesses, no opinions - in others
words no real substance as a human being. If such a creature did exist,
he would bore most women to tears in just a few hours. Women don't
realize that on a subconscious level they usually avoid men who remind
them of Mr. Perfect. How's that? Because women view them as weak, and
'weak' translates into
being able to protect her in the cave
being able to keep the family safe from intruders
being strong enough to hunt for food and feed her and their offspring
being assertive enough to achieve goods that would provide her and the
children with all their nesting needs.
Basically, your average nice guy just can't compete with the bad boy.
So here's what women tell
us are some specific behaviors that are sure to turn them off:
over us and acting like a lost puppy dog - remember we want
a man who will protect us, not one we have to mother. Respect is a
major component of a woman loving a man. We need to be able to respect
you which means we need to see strength, decency, conviction and
purpose in you.
making the first move - no matter who asks who to go out on
a date, most women still want the guy to make the first move beyond
that point. Women like to feel that we are desirable, and also that you
are able to take charge in an emergency and get the job done right. If
you want us, let us know.
letting us see your passions - we want a man who will bring
out the inner passion in us and make us want him as much as he wants
us. In other words, we want good sex and good sex requires your passion
- for us.
expressing your opinions - we know you have them and they
will eventually come out and we really do like to know what we are
getting into before things progress to far.
being assertive - we want to know a man is capable of taking
over a situation and keeping us safe. Assertiveness represents strength
to us, and strength represents security. We need to see your assertive
side - your 'take charge' side - and these observations may be had just
by you doing simple things like getting a better table at a restaurant,
or catching the mouse in the pantry.
too complacent, compliant, or trying to please us too much -
we feel a strong attraction to a man who needs to be 'fixed'. It gives
us something to work for and that keeps us hooked and attracted to
the man. As Robin Norwood once summed it up so very well: "We
find the unstable man exciting, the unreliable man challenging, the
unpredictable man romantic, the immature man charming, the moody man
mysterious. The angry man needs our understanding. The unhappy man
needs our comforting. The inadequate man needs our encouragement, and
the cold man needs our warmth. But we cannot "fix" a man who is fine
just as he is."
Line: The Mr. Nice Guy image doesn't let us see who you
really are. It scares us away and makes us feel that you wouldn't be
able to 'save' us from the evil beast nor slay the dragon. We need to
see who you really are - a man - because a woman
wants a man who wants her, who turns her on, who is capable of
protecting her, who can provide her and the children with a safe and
comfortable 'cave', and who is a person she can respect and trust not
to deliberately hurt her. In other words, she is looking for a strong
and good friend with a benefits package.
learn how to be the man women really want you must read Why
Women Really Do Love Bastards.
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
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