When Your Woman
Cheats
The following is an excerpt from the book, Why Women Cheat, which
can be found at
http://whywomencheat.com
Although the discovery of an affair is a very traumatic experience, the good
thing is that the discovery, itself, extinguishes the flame. In other words,
THE DISCOVERY OF AN AFFAIR ALWAYS TAKES AWAY its ATTRACTIVENESS!! When the
affair was unknown to you, your wife and the other man held it silently and
secretly. Of course, the silence and secrecy is what fueled
the affair. Once the affair was discovered 90% of its enchantment was removed.
Marriages begin their repair only when the secret of an affair is out in
the open, and the wife does not need to hide her infidelity any longer.
However, if the affair is still going on behind the husband's back,
the secrecy and silence continues.
The affair itself was not infidelous in the marriage, as much as the dishonesty
of it was—the infidelity is not necessarily in the physical sex or in
the emotional bonding, but in the dishonesty and secrecy. For instance, married
swingers have an open relationship, having sex openly with other people outside
of their marriage, without dishonesty and therefore without betrayal or
infidelity. Infidelity lies in disloyalty and dishonesty. A secret lunch
or telephone call may be considered infidelous enough to prevent true intimacy
in a relationship, whereas a consenting couple swapping partners with another
couple may not be if both parties know and approve.
If the affair was infidelous and veiled in secrecy it is an extremely emotionally
charged event for the husband upon its discovery. Once the betrayed husband
discovers the affair he may scream; yell; threaten; cry; or even tear up
the family home. He will feel ashamed; self-blaming; indignant; humiliated;
shocked; furious; defeated; belittled; or outraged—a few betrayed husbands
go into a rage of which they never recover from, exiting the marriage, and
perhaps all relationships thereafter, too. Some men may even feel suicidal
or murderous. Not surprising since his whole stable world has just been ripped
out from under him, and his marriage and image of his beloved wife torn asunder.
His male ego may become so damaged that it may be likely he'll never recover
even a fraction of his self-esteem.
However, it's very normal for him to be irrational and emotional. He may
cry easily, get withdrawn, or scream out and be aggressive...basically his
emotions will flip-flop from one extreme to another. He may be hypervigilant
one minute, wanting to check cell phones and handbags and coat pockets and
emails and panties and the mileage on her car, and the next minute detached
and apathetic.
He will have flashbacks of experiences that he can only imagine at
the most unusual moments, like hearing a song on the radio and wondering
if they listened to that same song together. He will obsess over the
details of the affair, hashing and rehashing. And he will have ugly mental
images of his wife with another man playing over and over again in his mind.
But, too, even during this emotional roller coaster most husbands will quickly
hunker down and begin the effort to do whatever he has to do to salvage
his marriage, and to pull his wife from the arms of another. Marriage can
survive a wife's infidelity, if the infidelity is stopped, brought into the
open, and dealt with on mature level.
By Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru
Want to find out the real reason why women cheat? For answers to
this question please visit Why Women Cheat at
http://whywomencheat.com or for
help with any breakup or relationship issue, please visit Tigress Luv and
The Lifted Hearts Community at
http://liftedhearts.com
The
above article is an excerpt from the book, Why Women Cheat. The book
can be found at
http://whywomencheat.com
About the Author:
Tigress Luv, the Break Up Guru, has been mending broken hearts and repairing
broken relationships for years. You can read more about her works
here.
Tigress Luv
For more information about getting over
the pain of breakup, please read How to
Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.
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