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Breakup and Relationship Issues
by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass
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When the Woman You Love, Does Another
When Your Woman Cheats
The following is an excerpt from the book, Why Women Cheat,
by Tigress Luv, which can be found at http://whywomencheat.com
Although the discovery of an affair is a very traumatic experience, the
good thing is that the discovery, itself, extinguishes the flame. In
other words, THE DISCOVERY OF AN AFFAIR ALWAYS TAKES AWAY its
ATTRACTIVENESS!! When the affair was unknown to you, your wife and the
other man held it silently and secretly. Of course, the silence and secrecy is what fueled the affair. Once the
affair was discovered 90% of its enchantment was removed. Marriages
begin their repair only when the secret of an affair is out in the
open, and the wife does not need to hide her infidelity any longer. However,
if the affair is still going on behind the husband's back, the secrecy
and silence continues.
The affair itself was not infidelous in the marriage, as much as the
dishonesty of it was—the infidelity is not necessarily in the physical
sex or in the emotional bonding, but in the dishonesty and secrecy. For
instance, married swingers have an open relationship, having sex openly
with other people outside of their marriage, without dishonesty and
therefore without betrayal or infidelity. Infidelity lies in disloyalty
and dishonesty. A secret lunch or telephone call may be considered
infidelous enough to prevent true intimacy in a relationship, whereas a
consenting couple swapping partners with another couple may not be if
both parties know and approve.
If the affair was infidelous and veiled in secrecy it is an extremely
emotionally charged event for the husband upon its discovery. Once the
betrayed husband discovers the affair he may scream; yell; threaten;
cry; or even tear up the family home. He will feel ashamed;
self-blaming; indignant; humiliated; shocked; furious; defeated;
belittled; or outraged—a few betrayed husbands go into a rage of which
they never recover from, exiting the marriage, and perhaps all
relationships thereafter, too. Some men may even feel suicidal or
murderous. Not surprising since his whole stable world has just been
ripped out from under him, and his marriage and image of his beloved
wife torn asunder. His male ego may become so damaged that it may be
likely he'll never recover even a fraction of his self-esteem.
However, it's very normal for him to be irrational and emotional. He
may cry easily, get withdrawn, or scream out and be
aggressive...basically his emotions will flip-flop from one extreme to
another. He may be hypervigilant one minute, wanting to check cell
phones and handbags and coat pockets and emails and panties and the
mileage on her car, and the next minute detached and apathetic.
He will have flashbacks of experiences that he can only
imagine at the most unusual moments, like hearing a song on
the radio and wondering if they listened to that same song together.
He will obsess over the details of the affair, hashing and rehashing.
And he will have ugly mental images of his wife with another man
playing over and over again in his mind. But, too, even during this
emotional roller coaster most husbands will quickly hunker down and
begin the effort to do whatever he has to do to
salvage his marriage, and to pull his wife from the arms of another.
Marriage can survive a wife's infidelity, if the infidelity is stopped,
brought into the open, and dealt with on mature level.
Want to find out the
real reason why women cheat? For answers to this question please visit Why
Women Cheat at http://whywomencheat.com or for help with any breakup or relationship issue, please
visit The Lifted Hearts Support Forums
The above article is
an excerpt from the book, Why Women Cheat by Tigress Luv. The book
can be found at http://whywomencheat.com
Stop your breakup here!
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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