My Truth Was a Lie, My Lie Was My Truth

Every night
I think of you my friend
and every dawn
my pain starts back up again

How can I sleep
without holding your hand
easing my stress
and taking away my pain?

How can I wake
without you by my side
without our breakfast rendezvous
or our ride into town?

How can I sit and ponder
 or silently converse
without your replies,
opinions and verse?

It takes much discipline from me
to remember that you were
but a semblance of the man
that you wanted me to see

I was so convinced
that you were a wonder
and now I question my sanity
how could I make such a blunder?

You were never there for me
always off performing and fake
your imaginary self
for your imaginary fans

You showed me no love
of this I am sure
a feigned minute here and there
just to keep me secure

I don't know whether to hate you
for defrauding me so
or to hate myself
for believing in you

I do know that it is hard
to know that you were not who I believed
it's difficult to admit
that I was deceived

Whom I thought you were
never was
and who you really are
is hard to love

Still I'll retire
and think of you once more
and try to remember
that my thoughts are my thorn

My visions of you
are of a man that never existed
the person that you really are
can so easily be resisted

My truth was a lie
my lie was my truth
the man that you were
was a man without proof

 Glass Sipper Publications