The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people who go through it.  ~Tigress Luv

The funny thing about breakups is they point out what we didn't even know we had, but don't give us the option of going back into battle armed with that knowledge. (put this quote on your site)

Why did you leave me? When did you leave me? Where was I when this happened? (put this quote on your site)

He gave me nothing, and he took it with him when he left. (put this quote on your site)

Do not take another's bad opinion of you as the truth. Nothing others think or say about you is about you, but rather a reflection of their own reality. (put this quote on your site)

Obsession is feeling fearful that you may be losing him; detachment is knowing that he may be losing you; and apathy is the past tense of both. (put this quote on your site)

Based on a string of bad breakups, I was forced to examine my choice of partners. Surely, that must have abolished me from any wrongdoing. (put this quote on your site)

I can embrace myself, hold my own hand, love me - but I can't gaze into my own eyes and feel my own soul lift me up. (put this quote on your site)

Every happy couple has at least one breakup behind them. (put this quote on your site)

The dark of night does not come after the golden glow of the day's sun but before it. (put this quote on your site)

No one is spared the pain of rejection, except the ignorant and the fool. Which my ex just happens to be both of. (put this quote on your site)

Why must a heart break? Why must a tear drop? ....and why did I forget where I was going with this quote? (put this quote on your site)

Your closing your eyes to me, opened my eyes to you. (put this quote on your site)

Mars and Venus? Nope. The only problem between the genders is that we each have the others needs and wants backwards. Men want to be needed, and women need to be wanted. Not the other way around. It's that simple! (put this quote on your site)

We enter relationships as a somebody and leave them as a nobody. (put this quote on your site)

When I said I didn't want to see you anymore why did you choose that particular statement to be the only one you ever listened to? (put this quote on your site)

This sucks! I can't think! I can't sleep! I can't eat! Is love supposed to hurt so? (put this quote on your site)

I don't know how to not love you, I only know how to not let you go. (put this quote on your site)

The greatest experience we can ever have is usually not a welcomed one at that time. (put this quote on your site)

The saddest thing about breakups is that the children get dumped, too. (put this quote on your site)

It amazes me so that we enter a relationship whole and leave it only a half. (put this quote on your site)

I looked in the mirror this morning, but I only saw me without you. (put this quote on your site)

Of all the moments in my life, you were always there somewhere. Once as a wish. Once as a blessing. And now as the greatest loss I'll ever experience. (put this quote on your site)

Yearn for where you want to go, not for where you have already been: Your future will be better, your days will be brighter, and your nights will be filled with the glorious heavens. (put this quote on your site)

If I stop thinking of you, will you be gone to me forever? (put this quote on your site)

You know what the duck said when their lover left them? "Quack!" I guess you can say that the duck quacked. (put this quote on your site)

When we wear our heart on our sleeve, nobody notices our great butts! (put this quote on your site)

If the government could tax broken hearts, there would be no deficit. (put this quote on your site)

It took losing you to find me. It would have took finding me to keep me from losing you. Why is life so unfair? (put this quote on your site)

Last night you came back to me and my world was right again. This morning I woke up against my wishes. Why must there be a dawn? (put this quote on your site)

If breakups never existed the music industry would go bankrupt. (put this quote on your site)

LOVE-ADDICTION: Trying to make someone love you even at the last moment of your life. (put this quote on your site)

We enter love with our eyes closed and leave it with our eyes wide open. (put this quote on your site)

Sad endings begin every new romance. (put this quote on your site)

You closing your heart to me, opened my heart to you. (put this quote on your site)

If we never felt sorrow, we'd never recognize bliss. At this rate I should be in a full state of bliss for the rest of my days. (put this quote on your site)

How many tears must I shed to cleanse myself of you? (put this quote on your site)

Do not pray for a path less difficult, but pray for a path more challenging. Only then will you not pray to find a partner to love you, but pray to find someone worthy of your love. (put this quote on your site)

How can the world just keep on, when you are not in it anymore? Don't they know that this is the end? (put this quote on your site)

If I were granted three wishes, they would be You, Me, Us. (put this quote on your site)

There is a time to speak up, and a time to be silent. A time to read and a time to write. A time to learn and a time to teach. A time to listen and a time to be heard. A time to lose and a time to gain. And for all of these things the time is now. (put this quote on your site)

I saw you the other day, but you didn't see me. I was the one hiding in the recesses of your mind. (put this quote on your site)

In my last relationship I realized that my partner was self-centered, self-serving, arrogant, ignorant, unfaithful, hypercritical, abusive, an under-achiever, and an alcoholic. I was devastated when he broke up with me. (put this quote on your site)

Yesterday? Yes. I was there just today. And I'll probably be there for all of my tomorrows, too. (put this quote on your site)

Do not resent being brokenhearted. Many are denied the privilege. (put this quote on your site)

You should be arrested for murder, because you took my life away from me. (put this quote on your site)

Memories are what you have, when you've lost everything else. Dreams are what you have, when you forget the memories. And bliss is what you have when you give up both. (put this quote on your site)

Reality is a state of illusion. Therefore, reality couldn't possibly exist. So why did I think you were for real? (put this quote on your site)

Time must be healing my broken heart, as I now know this... Your opinions of me were wrong - I am not that bad. My opinions of you were wrong, too - you weren't all that great. (put this quote on your site)

Never over-estimate pain. Whenever someone speaks to me of their pain, I want to say, "yeah, and so....?", but of course I don't. I mean, why take away their only joy? (put this quote on your site)

If your phone doesn't ring, it's not me. (put this quote on your site)

Just for this one night I will not think about you. I will have fun, and laugh again. And enjoy every minute. Tomorrow I will deal with the hangover. (put this quote on your site)

It's not the days, the hours, the minutes, nor the seconds that count. It's man's actions and reactions to them that make or break his life's journey. (put this quote on your site)

If I have to be 'perfect' to keep my man faithful, then I'd rather just let him go and live alone. Perfect is an impossible state. (put this quote on your site)

Do not condemn a government that allowed one terrorist act to happen, but rather praise a government who has, on your behalf, kept secret to you the countless others that they have prevented. (put this quote on your site)

A new chair may look better, but the old one has already been molded to fit your seat. (put this quote on your site)

We all shall pass through this life but only once. Let us enjoy today, as we shall not pass this way again. (put this quote on your site)

If my life were like a giant sandbox, sure enough along would come a cat... Fortunately for me I happen to like cats. (put this quote on your site)

A man who cannot see past an 'imperfect' body, also cannot see past a 'perfect' one. (put this quote on your site)

A great man reigns over himself with kindness and humor, and therefore never feels the pain of rejection. (put this quote on your site)

If God didn't want me to help others heal, then He sure wasted a lot of life's lessons on me! (put this quote on your site)

When your ex gave you their love you had it to keep. That which is given to you, cannot be taken away from you. The only thing taken away from you was the wish to have it given to you again. (put this quote on your site)

Love grows where trust is laid, and love dies where trust is betrayed. (put this quote on your site)

If we are but one, then to hold you accountable is to hold me accountable. To love you, is to love myself, To forgive you is to leave me without blame, also. Ah, the peace! (put this quote on your site)

Most people are afraid that if they back off a little that the object of their affection will move on and eventually forget about them. But, ironically, the real reason is that they, themselves, are afraid that if they back off that THEY will forget about the object of their affection and move on, and this they don't want to do. (put this quote on your site)

When I first met my partner, I rejoiced in him. What splendid, fascinating, and new things he brought to my stagnant life. For instance, he could talk for hours about space and music. And now, three-and-one-half years later I realize that he can talk for hours about space and music. Despite this, I still love him. (put this quote on your site)

God made our arms just long enough to embrace ourselves: go ahead, try it - nobody's watching. (put this quote on your site)

Stop dancing with ghosts. Yesterday is dead: bury it and be done with it. (put this quote on your site)

Negative feelings are nocturnal animals. They only dwell in the darkest of places. (put this quote on your site)

God can't be everywhere, that's why He created friendship. (put this quote on your site)

Let me live my life as I want, for at its end it is I who must die. (put this quote on your site)

I used to treat those who did me wrong with disdain and unacceptance. I was afraid that if I were to treat them nicely it would mean that I was giving them the 'go-ahead', 'thumbs-up', to hurt me again. Little did I know that I was only reaffirming that their choice to hurt me to begin with was the right choice. (put this quote on your site)

To err is human, to forgive is just like asking for it all over again! (put this quote on your site)

"If we are but one, then to hold you accountable is to hold me accountable. To love you, is to love myself, To forgive you is to leave me without blame, also. Ah, the peace!"~Tigress Luv

"Most people are afraid that if they back off a little that the object of their affection will move on and eventually forget about them. But, ironically, the real reason is that they, themselves, are afraid that if they back off that THEY will forget about the object of their affection and move on, and this they don't want to do."~ Tigress Luv

"I woke up one morning and realized that I would never be President. That was when I lost my ability to dream."~Tigress Luv's ex-BIL, after recovering from deep depression

QUOTES TAKEN FROM TIGRESS' BOOK 'DREAM CHASERS: FACING OUR ADDICTION TO THE COMMITMENTPHOBIC PERSON'

"The hardest thing in the world to break free of is our connection to a commitmentphobic person, simply because they hook you with the 'maybe'." ~Tigress Luv

A relationship with a CP is like a drive on an endless highway, with the CP always behind the wheel. ~Tigress Luv

In our endeavor to be as important to the CP as he is to us, we become retentive, suffocating, controlling, cunning, and self-reproaching. When we need to conquer the 'phobia' this intensely, we usually end up creating more havoc and fear in the CP than the phobia, itself, did. We end up embarrassed, ashamed, and stripped of our dignity - and even less close to our goal than when we started. ~Tigress Luv~

We have the power and the capability to love and respect ourselves right this minute. We don't need to wait in a dead limbo until the CP overcomes his conflict and gives us this. ~Tigress Luv~

If you are with a CP the best thing you can do is let him go and move on with your life. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it is the truth. ~Tigress Luv

Trust that your life may be already predestined. Stop attempting to control fate and learn to appreciate, and relish in, the peace that comes with Letting Go and Letting Be. ~Tigress Luv~

Are you in love with the CP, or are you in love with the fantasy of the perfection you think you two could be 'if only'? ~Tigress Luv

Sometimes in our attempt to find happiness we love too much, falsely believing that only another can bring the sun up in our morning.

When we place this burden upon another we relinquish our rights to joy, we hand over our power to another, and we erroneously inflate their status in our minds. This is a false love. The object of our burden becomes our Higher Power, and we, in return, become their slave. ~Tigress Luv~

Being addicted to the CP, and his Phobia, we behave as though the love and attention of another is only valid if we have to use high-pressure methods to force it out of them. We forget that true love is given freely, and along with that, the desire to be by one's side forever.

Face it, true love moves mountains to be with you. If the CP really wanted you to be by his side forever, he would move his mountain, not hide behind it as if it were a pair of apron strings. ~Tigress Luv~

There seems to be an unspoken link between seemingly normal men and women becoming codependent non-lifers once they become involved with a commitmentphobic person. ~Tigress~

Sometimes our instincts 'steer' us wrong. Take for instance the instinct to slam on the brakes when driving on black ice. ~Tigress Luv~

When in a relationship with a CP it is so much easier to say that the 'phobia' was the problem, than to admit that it was our intense need to become their 'appendage' that was the real problem. The pain which was created in our hearts was placed there by us, not by them. ~Tigress Luv~

When we repeatedly and consistently give to another we must ask ourselves, are we trying to bribe them to love us? ~Tigress Luv~

Another's measure of us is not as important an account of who we are as our own measure of ourselves. When we feel hurt by another's misguided notion about us we must ask ourselves what rings true about their opinion of us that makes us feel so rejected? When we validate another's rejection, we, in essence, reject ourselves even more than they did. ~Tigress Luv~

When in recovery remember that it is not a popularity contest. Sometimes we must do things that confuses another, but always remember your recovery comes before that of all else. There will be time later after your recovery to make amends to those who you may have shunned along the way. ~Tigress Luv~

Sometimes the hardest thing in life to do is to just Let Go. We falsely believe that by Letting Go we are allowing things to get out of our control - hence, take over us and go against our wishes. However, only by our repeated and futile attempts to control things are we being truly unjust to ourselves. The hard truth is: things are going to be exactly as they are going to be... whether you attempt to control them or not.

Trust that whatever will be will be and feel the peace that comes with letting go and surrendering to that trust. ~Tigress Luv~

Don't bend yourself into a pretzel to try and fit what you perceive as the solution to their 'phobia'. Get your own life back! ~Tigress Luv

We have to realize that recovery is about us. It is us holding our own hand and leading our spirits through to a better, more peaceful approach to our own lives.

Recovery means to heal ourselves and to stop looking for others to save ... recovery means we stop seeking out those individuals (outside of ourselves) who might need our healing, and realize that we need our own love and our own healing touch much more than they. ~Tigress Luv~

The less we place another as our Higher Power, the more likely we are to attract a healthy partner and secure a fulfilling relationship based on love, respect, equality, and trust. ~Tigress Luv~

The only real love is that love which cannot be imagined. ~Tigress Luv~

Just for Today

Just for Today I will let go and let life lead me where it may.

I will stop trying to control my destiny and realize that only in letting go of my controlling ways can I be truly free to accept things that come my way, and find the peace and tranquility that comes with such acceptance.

Just for today I will let the day take me where it may.~Tigress

As we sit on our pity-pot and confirm our victim status we must not forget the fact that we are exactly where we wanted to be. Nobody forced us to be here. We were willing participants to the roles in our life, to our past and/or present predicament with our CP, and even to our own pain and suffering. We are the puppets of our own show ... we pulled our own strings. Our current standing was always an option. ~Tigress Luv~

When at rock bottom always remember you still have two choices: that of sideways or that of up. Of course, it always helps to recognize where rock-bottom is. ~Tigress Luv~

One cannot clearly remember the joy of dawn if they have lived through a century of night. The same goes for life. We cannot possibly feel optimistic about our recovery - if we have ceased to experience the joy of what it feels like to have a good life. By recognizing the damaging stages in the cycle of our addictions, can we better prepare for the battle. Only by arming ourselves with the determination to ride it through, will joy, again, be felt by us. Thus, the victory over our addiction will be the ability to feel the good life once again. Isn't it about time? ~Tigress Luv~

Just for Today

Today, I'll look at the way I feel unloved or uncared for as a result of my relationship with a CP, and see if I've been rejecting myself even more than I think they did.

The more I believe that I am worthy of love and care, the less likely I will be to believe that my entire existence was based on the acceptance or rejection of one other person.~~Tigress

The tendency for us to live out our self-assigned roles is very tempting. When we feel the need to assume our title as victim, martyr, rescuer, or savior, we must remember that we don't owe anybody else a damned thing. In lieu of playing out these roles we should, instead, feel deserving of our own love for self, and to heck with everybody else! After all, who are we really trying to please when we take on these roles and titles? Who are we really trying to take of? Ourselves! That's the basis behind all our role playing and self-imposed titles. Our misguided belief that only they can make us happy, thus we falsely believe that only through changing them will we find joy in our lives. When we understand this simple equation, can we better understand that all our efforts would be better spent selfishly by skipping the middle man and getting right back to loving ourselves. ~Tigress Luv~

Part of our recovery involves stopping the impulsive urge to base everything we say and do on how we think the CP will react. We must leave the CP in the Land of the Exes, and recognize that what goes on there is not of our concern. We must learn to say and do strictly for ourselves, and for our own sake and benefit, and not for the reaction of another. ~Tigress Luv~

When we enable another by accepting poor treatment from them, it is in the hopes that they will see their undesirable ways and change. It is also out of the fear that, were we to compete with their issues, that their issues would take precedence over us. Unfortunately, what we are really doing is relating to them that what they are doing is 'okay' with us. It is in our power to not accept that which we don't agree with, thus implying to another that we no longer will be a willing accomplice... .... that we no longer will empower, accept, nor support their issues. Only by changing ourselves can we truly change another. ~Tigress Luv~

When we release that which we cling to, and cling only unto ourselves, can we truly feel joy again. We must learn to give to ourselves in a loving and nurturing way. We must embrace ourselves, bring our own sun up in the morning, and bask in the glory of us. For it is ourselves, and ourselves alone, that God trusted us to care for, not another broad-shouldered adult. We must stop watering another's garden while our gardens die from neglect. We must learn and understand that, no matter how beautiful we make their garden, they will not tend to ours in the end. We must understand that another will only care about our gardens when, by our garden's own beauty will they see how lovingly and selfishly we have tended to them ourselves. ~Tigress Luv~

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