to Love Ourselves!
By Tigress Luv
LEARNING TO LOVE
THE EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL, AND MENTAL YOU
Tough love, that's how we learn to love ourselves. Guess what, here are
the facts (and you probably won't like them, but this is my TOUGH love
method of teaching you to love yourself)...you are STUCK with yourself
for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not, kind of a scary
thought, huh? But, them's the FACTS. You will never be anybody but YOU,
so you better learn to accept yourself. That's the key---ACCEPTANCE of
yourself. Yes, it helps to give yourself encouraging little "I am
valuable, I am lovable, I am..." reminders though-out the day, but they
really won't help you reach your established goal if you don't first
ACCEPT yourself for who you are!!! So, the key to being able to love
yourself is ACCEPTANCE. Here is a method to help you reach your goal
faster: Make a list of everything (don't leave anything out) that you
don't like about yourself...and be honest. For instance, my teeth are
too big, my hair is too thin, I can't manage my own checking account, I
am no good at dancing, I am too forgetful, I'm too meek...etc. And then
read over your list, stopping at each one and say to yourself "yep, my
teeth ARE too big, but they are MY teeth and I'm STUCK with them for
the rest of my life so I will learn to accept that about me." When you
are done with this make another list of everything you like about
yourself (this is NO time to be modest), for instance, I'm a very good
cook, I have nice hands, I have a great singing voice, my garden is
beautiful, I have a very compassionate heart, etc. Now go back over
that list, stopping at each one and applaud yourself by saying, "yep, I
am a very good cook, my friends all envy me, but it just seems to come
so naturally for me. I am FORTUNATE to have this uniqueness and it will
be with me for the rest of my life."
remember you are STUCK with who you are for the rest of your life and
learn to ACCEPT that of which is you. The love will follow, trust me!
God made you in His image. Do you not see the beauty of You now?
LOVE THE EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL, AND MENTAL YOU
issue is "how can you increase your self-esteem and become happier and
more emotionally successful in your life". The hardest obstacle you
face is to gain personal appreciation and acceptance of who you are.
Probably easier said than done, but, none the less, it CAN be done. You
need to learn to give yourself positive feedbacks, until you have
reached the point where you feel that you are the valuable person that
you really are. We do not will our hearts to beat, our lungs to
breathe. We cannot will ourselves to be other than what we are. There
are certain things about my emotional and physical make-up that I, too,
absolutely wish I could change. But the facts remain that I cannot
change them, and I have even learned to appreciate the uniqueness that
is mine. Okay, for starters I'll start beating myself up by saying my
feet are too big, my hair is too course, I am short-waisted, I have
scarring on my right hand, my upper lip is too thin, I am too old, my
voice is too deep, blah-blah-blah....do you see where that train of
thought will lead me? Not a very pretty, comfortable place! I bet if
you really looked around you, and I'm not talking about commercialized
people who are chosen for their absolute (and usually artificial)
perfection to represent the human race (those models make me gag LOL)
but really looked around you at other people, look at the woman or man
standing in the check-out line in front of you, the lady or gentleman
at the laundromat, your acquaintances at church, you will see that you
are not that bad. It's when you zero in and focus on a perceived
perfection that you will feel you can never measure up. You will always
feel 'not as good', not as 'pretty', not as 'smart', 'sexy', etc -
especially if you compare yourself to 'models'. Soon you will start to
feel very depressed and negative. And your negativity will show.
Everywhere you go, there your negativity is! Now, what horrible,
burdensome baggage to bring along with you on your one-and-only journey
through life! Let go of the baggage, life is too short and your life is
just for YOU, not for what you think others might think of you. (Which,
incidentally, they don't!)
must keep telling yourself these simple truths: "I am lovable,
worthwhile, useful, purposeful. I am significant, I belong, my impact
spreads beyond others. My frustrated expectations (of myself) are the
only cause of my stress and limits to my happiness". I will repeat that
last statement..."MY frustrated expectations are the ONLY cause of my
stress and limits to my happiness!" If you can redirect your negative
thoughts to positive ones, you will find that you are a very special
and unique person, but if you get caught in a negative frame of mind
you will never emerge from your cocoon and become that beautiful FREE
butterfly that you are. In a negative frame of mind, we exaggerate
negative thoughts about ourselves.
are very special. We are all very special. Beauty comes from that
belief, not from a nose job. Outer, external beauty fades with age and
experience, no matter who you are, but inner beauty only grows and
increases with age and experience. You have within you, right now,
everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.
And you deserve the very best because of who you are, not how you see
SOME PEOPLE JUST BETTER THAN OTHERS?
I posted this a while back, but
maybe it is suitable here so I will repost. I hope it helps lift you up
in hope. Believe it or not God DID create all men equal...meaning
everything you'll ever need is already there right inside of you. We
all have it! We may be different only in the way we are visually
perceived, but we all have strength, and courage, and compassion, and
will, and dignity, and reasoning, and stamina, and determination.
Sometimes we learn to become codependent and lean on others for these
qualities, instead of developing our own, but believe me---Nobody has a
monopoly on strength, or self-will. Nobody has been more embellished
with one virtue than the next. NOBODY is stronger than you. You already
have everything you need, right now, inside of you, to move mountains
and shape futures! You just need to learn how to reach deep inside
where it's lurking, grasp onto it, pull it forth, and then learn to
fall back on it, and IT IS THERE..TRUST ME! When God created man He
created them in His own image...He did not say unto Himself, "Hmmmmm, I
think I'll give Sally over there extra inner-strength, and
Michael...well Michael I think I'll skimp on self-will, and then
Jessica, well she'll get an extra dose of compassion, where as Lester
I'll deny humbleness and humility" --- you get the picture! EVERYTHING
you need to create a lifetime of happiness is already inside you, you
just need to trust that you are just as God intended---His image, no
better nor worse, no weaker nor stronger-- than the rest of mankind!
LOVE OUR 'SOULS'
yourself with friends and family
certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully, and before it
blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom and
also the thorns. And he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come
from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?" Saddened by this
thought, he neglected to water the rose, and before it was ready to
bloom, it died.
it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose.The God-like
qualities planted in us at birth grow amid the thorns of our faults.
Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects. We
despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We
neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never
realize our potential.
people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it
to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able
to reach past the thorns and find the rose within others. This is the
characteristic of love, to look at a person, and knowing his faults,
recognize the nobility in his soul, and help him realize that he can
overcome his faults. If we show him the rose, he will conquer the
thorns. Then will he blossom, blooming forth thirty, sixty, a
hundred-fold as it is given to him.
duty in this world is to help others by showing them their roses and
not their thorns. Only then can we achieve the love we should feel for
each other; only then can we bloom in our own garden. ~Author Unknown~
hope you see the beautiful rose inside yourself that is so evident to
those of us who support and love you.
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
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