Luv & Glass
Breakup and Relationship Issues
by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass
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EVER HAPPENED TO SWEET, LITTLE OL' ME?
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by Tigress Luv
It's been an especially 'awakening' week for
me. I've done very much soul searching and purging and made a lot of
resolutions. Here's my first one; this is day 'one' for me without a
cigarette. Yes, I am a smoker - hopefully soon to be 'ex-smoker'. So -
for the next few weeks - you will just have to bear with me during my
lack-of-nicotine-induced nervous breakdown :)
That is one of the great things about breakups, though. The absolutely
amazing metamorphosis we go through. With my last breakup I realized
how, within the relationship, I had somehow lost contact with my
feminine side. Maybe because I was abused and learned to 'toughen' up
through the process; maybe because I got bitter; maybe because I was
the sole-provider and paid all the bills; or maybe simply because I was
with a quivering coward of a man who wasn't capable of even hammering a
nail into the wall or handling a phone call with the utility company.
All I know is that I stepped away from the relationship lacking the
sweet femininity that I had when I had entered it - the very soft
femininity that attracts men to women. I was hardened, bitter, cynical,
and impenetrable. In other words, I was U-G-L-Y! I think a lot of men,
too, leave bad relationships with a true loss of their masculinity,
and, consequently with a huge deficit in their level of attraction. The
ebook, 'Why Women Love Bastards' (http://whywomenlovebastards.com)
was written with this idea in mind - to help men reconnect with their
I want you to think about you right now. Women, ask yourself how much of your soft, trusting, and
compliant femininity have you lost during the course of a bad
relationship and breakup? And men, how much of your hardened
determination, personal decision making, and masculine stance have you
lost during the course of your bad relationship and breakup? Bad
relationships and breakups have a way of stripping us of our femininity
and masculinity, so slowly that we aren't even aware of it happening to
I found this out after my last breakup in one of those 'epiphany'
moments that I frequently have (if I just 'sit still' and allow them to
come LOL)! Yes, somewhere along the line of being a single mother,
running a business, holding down a house, and being painfully in charge
of every relationship I have ever been in, I lost my soft, sweet, and
attractively 'weak' femininity.
This revelation all came to me one afternoon when a waitress at a place
I frequent came rushing outside (where a group of us 'smokers' were
sitting) and jumped onto one of the men's lap, crying uncontrollably.
Needless to say every man at our table jumped over to her 'rescue' and
her long, mascara-stained tears and uncontrollable sobs literally had
them eating out of the palms of her hands. It turns out that the boss's
son had scolded her about something. I was vastly both humored and
irritated to find out that she was so uncontrollably brokenhearted and
'inconsolable' about such a trifle experience, when here I could (and
did) shoulder the weight of the world and not flinch.
But - here's the thing - did the men rush to my side to help me
shoulder the weight? NO! Did they jump up from the table and rush to my
rescue as I sat there with the weight of the world securely strapped on
my back? NO! They simply ignored me, or admired me from afar, or
cheated on me with the more feminine and attractive 'damsel in
I also found that more and more the men I did date would try to 'break'
me (with emotional, verbal, or mental abuse), as if my determined
spirit and my strength were in direct competition with their masculine
egos. That's when I did some really long thinking and observing and
Anyway, how much of your femininity or masculinity did your last
relationship 'steal' from you? I bet it is far more than you are even
aware of! You men out there can find an excellent resource for
rediscovering your attractive manliness at http://whywomenlovebastards.com and you women can find great advice for regaining your charming
femininity and becoming attractive again at http://winbacktheirattraction.com.
Okay, now I really, really want a cigarette because this is the spot
where I usually light one up to enjoy while I finish the newsletter!
Grrrrrr - I'm a wildcat in nicotine withdrawal, so my newsletter will
be a bit shorter than usual this week! (And I had some great things
planned for it, too)!
This Week's Inspiration or Quote: "I
have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with
me." ~~Dudley Field Malone
This Week's Thought: "If rejection has hurt me today, it is
because I believe I am deserving of rejection. Today I will see how, in
my past, rejection has taught me to inner-reflect and self-improve. I
will value only the rejection that benefits me, and throw the rest out.
Today I will see that rejection only hurts if I put truth to the cause,
or value the source of the rejection. Today I will opt to reject
rejection. It is not a gift; I do not have to accept it." ~Tigress Luv
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone! For
more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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