is the definition of a "rebound relationship"? Is it true they can be
relationships occur very shortly after the end of a significant love, and
sometimes begin before the end. The problem with a rebound is that it doesn't
allow time for the grieving and healing processes to be complete.
When this happens,
there is emotional confusion. Sometimes, the feelings for the old partner
simply transfer to the new one, and there is the illusion that you've found
someone totally "different," when, in fact, you've found someone very much
like your old love. Often the issues which drove you away from your previous
partner are the very ones with which you eventually find yourself grappling
in the new relationship.
relationships serve a purpose: To protect the heart from the devastation
of losing someone very important. Like a very big cushion, they protect us
from the trauma of the fall which is experienced when a deep connection is
abruptly severed. These relationships can be healthy, as long as you remain
aware of their purpose and take your time with your new partner. If you're
not paying attention, however, a rebound relationship can be unhealthy. Potential
new partner to make up for the shortcomings of the old. "Since my last girlfriend
cheated on me, I expect you to give me 100% reassurance of your loyalty 24
hours a day."
"My last boyfriend dated me for three years without making a commitment,
so I'm expecting an engagement ring within six months or I'm out of
Fear and anxiety
that are problematic. "After what my ex did to me, I have to constantly check
to see that you're really there for me, even if that drives you crazy."
relationship. Rebound relationships are often too fast-paced, in an effort
to "make sure" that this one sticks.
risk of a rebound is that it serves its purpose and then the rebounder moves
on, leaving someone else devastated. If you're dating someone who's just
left another relationship, know that you may have a Westbound Train. Don't
allow the rebounding person to set the pace, as it will be too fast and may
leave you in the dust. Take your time, allow the relationship to develop
slowly, and take good care of yourself emotionally (i.e., have a good support
relationship can work out, as long as you and your partner are able to develop
a genuinely loving and trusting bond, and that you maintain good communication
each step of the
About the Author:
Copyright 1997 Nina Atwood, All Rights
is a published author, therapist, and the Internet's SinglesCoach. You may
find out more about her by visiting her site at: http://www.singlescoach.com/
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
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