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Oh my, and On a Rebound Relationship...

Rebound Relationships

On the Rebound
remember what your mama told you: you can't hurry love!

How do you know if you're on the rebound? Coming out of a relationship is often a difficult time. And since misery loves company, you may be tempted to try to forget about your heartache by jumping head-first into another relationship. Using other people as heartbreak menders can quickly turn into a pattern. Before you know it, you will have acquired a list of broken relationships as long as your arm. Your self-esteem will also take a dive as you try to figure out why your love life is such a failure.

You can avoid the pain of a rebound relationship by following one simple rule: stay away from new relationships until you know you are good and ready. How long will it take? Only you can answer that question because each woman has her own timeframe for healing from heartbreak. When you're on the rebound, you're vulnerable and may put yourself in situations or relationships that you normally wouldn't be caught dead in. It's safer to clear your plate of all liaisons for a while and concentrate on yourself.

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It's also a good idea to think about issues in your past relationships and try to learn from them. As the saying goes, those who do not learn form history are doomed to repeat it. So if you truly want to have a healthy relationship, give yourself time to come to terms with your past relationship before jumping into a new one.

The ex factor

After a break-up it is common for couples to fantasise about getting back together. Long nights spent alone can wreak havoc on your psyche. While you are on the rebound, the urge to reconcile with your ex will be strong - but you must be stronger. After all, there must have been a perfectly good reason for breaking up that's not going to change, right?

The longer you resist the impulse to go crawling back, the easier it will get. Spending time without an escort is not so bad. And once you're thinking more clearly, you will be able to judge whether or not you did the right thing. Until that time comes, you should stock up on some serious willpower, especially if you don't want to get into the vicious on-again, off-again relationship cycle.

Too soon to tell

If you're determined to mend your broken heart by immediately diving into a new relationship, go ahead. Do what comes naturally. But at least try to gain a little perspective before you fall head over heels in love with the first person who shows an inkling of interest in you. Understand that you are, in fact, on the rebound and keep a casual, light-hearted attitude on all of your dates.

If you should find yourself falling deeply in love with someone you've just met, remind yourself again that you are on the rebound. The best way to deal with intense, rebound-related emotions is to reason your way out of them. Admit to yourself that you may be in dire need of affection and try to see your new flame from an objective perspective. If you still feel like you're falling deeply in love, try to wait a while before verbalising your "I love you". You don't want to lead someone on, only to realise - a month later - that you were never truly in love to begin with.

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Heart to heart

There's no harm in rebound relationships if you take them for what they are - temporary and not particularly meaningful. They can, however, remind you that you are still desirable and quite a catch. Sometimes you may find yourself single for a year or longer. It's not abnormal and you can use this time to get back in touch with yourself. Don't worry if all of your dates fail to measure up to the one that got away. That's to be expected. After all, how can mere strangers possibly compare to someone you once nicknamed "Boopsie"?

As you put more time and experiences between your break-up and the present day, you'll be ready for a new and improved relationship - one that may force you to retire the phrase 'on the rebound' from your vocabulary forever.

About the Author:

By Penelope Forrester, Courtesy of  http://www.iVenus.com, the web network for Women

Article published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.

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