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What's Your Life Statement?
Go - Finding a Profound Peace in a Man's Dying Words...
by Tigress Luv
Quite some years back I was in a relationship
with a narcissistic man who was deep into the 'drama'. Now, it's true
that many of
us women have emotions that run deep and strong, and many a time have
we over-dramatized our lives and certain situations... But it is rare
to find a man that is so overly emotional that every day with him is
wrought with nothing but drama, or a man that is so emotionally
volatile or codependent that the entire family must walk around on
tippy-toes lest we 'upset' him.
Well, at one time deep into our relationship he woke up one morning
with some pretty severe chest pains. Fearing a heart attack he
requested I drive him to the hospital (dialing 911 was not enough
fanfare for him; he much preferred the chance of spinning a
challenging, life-or-death tale of having to be perilously driven to
the hospital [such was his way - he glorified in the attention]).
So, into the SUV we did scramble, rushing off towards the nearest
hospital ... him white-faced and clutching his chest while muttering "hurry,
hurry..." and me begging for him to just let me pull over and
call 911 on my cell phone, to which he still adamantly refused,
squeaking out a barely audible "no, no...".
The hospital was quite some miles away, and I sped there recklessly,
while he clutched at his chest and left shoulder.
The silence was foreboding, while crushing thoughts of losing him raced
through my head, heart, and soul. My eyes darted back-and-forth from
him to the road; him leaning over, still clutching at his chest.
Finally, after some time I thought I heard him speak. He was trying to
tell me something - something very important - but
it was too faint for me to hear.
Was he trying to reveal some deep, dark secret, such as he was D.B.
Cooper or the Zodiac Killer, or did he want to confess or make
atonement for an infidelity, or a string of infidelities? Did he have
mass fortunes he had hidden and wanted to tell me where they were to
make sure that his family was well cared for, or was he going to
entrust me with the secret location to a safety deposit box? Was he
about to profess to me how much he had loved me so as to kindly leave
me with the knowledge that I was cherished and adored, and made him
happy? As I leaned in closer, still keeping a watchful eye on the
traffic and my speed, I heard his words at last, "Don't forget
to give the dogs water."
Well, we did make it to the hospital that day, and, as it turned out,
he was not having a heart attack, but he did have some very clogged
arteries that did need bypass surgery. Thanking God he was ok, I later
reflected on the profoundness of what I thought were his 'dying' words
to me. Where was the love (for me)? LOL
If you were told you were going to die tomorrow, whom would you call?
What would you say? Would all those worries and pressures that are so
important to you today - all those things that are robbing you of your
present day happiness - would they matter to you anymore? Would you
suddenly stop worrying about rejection, or the car needing an oil
change, or whether the washer would make it another cycle, and simply
embrace the moment? Would you turn off your computer and play with your
kids? Would you cancel the trip you had planned to the golf course and
visit your mother instead? Would you invite your best friend out to
lunch in lieu of wondering about what your ex was doing?
Would you light those candles you are saving, or drink that wine aging
in your basement? Would you eat on the good china, or use your
And would you care less about what people thought about you, but rather
alternatively reflect on how you have made a positive difference or
special influence to others you have touched along the way?
And what final things would you want to say to your loved ones?
Would you 'let go' of the garbage that weighs you down everyday?
They say that one way to tell that a depressed
person is harboring thoughts of suicide is that they suddenly 'cheer'
up. Why? Because they stop worrying about everything. But why take such
drastic measures to find the peace of just 'letting things go'?
Worrying about stuff is not going to change the outcome of
anything...things are going to happen exactly as they are
going to happen - no matter whether you worry about them or
So, just for today, let go of everything negative and just let life
happen. Be grateful for every minute. Get back in touch with old
friends. Play with your kids. Light your special-occasion candles. Call
your mother up and tell her you love her. Break out the good china.
And reach out and touch someone positively.
When we allow the destructive actions of
another to effect our lives....
When we are so "enmeshed" with another, we are no longer a person with
a separate life....
When the object of our "addiction" is not there, we feel as if we are
"lost" and incomplete....
When our needs are stifled, because we are too busy taking care of
When we are willing to give up ourselves, so that they will "love"
For more help with 'letting go' and codependency please read our ebook 'How to Get
Over a Breakup', found at http://overabreakup.com
Today's Inspiration, Poem
"If I stop thinking of you, will you be gone to me forever?"
~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
Prayer or Thought:
A Sufi teaching story tells of the man who visited a great mystic to
find out how to let go of his chains of attachment and his prejudices.
Instead of answering him directly, the mystic jumped to his feet and
bolted to a nearby pillar, flung his arms around it, grasping the
marble surface as he screamed, "Save me from this pillar! Save me from
The man who had asked the question could not believe what he saw. He
thought the mystic was mad. The shouting soon brought a crowd of
people. "Why are you doing that?" the man asked. "I came to you to ask
a spiritual question because I thought you were wise, but obviously you
are crazy. You are holding the pillar, the pillar is not holding you.
You can simply let go."
The mystic let go of the pillar and said to the man, "If you can
understand that, you have your answers. Your chains of attachment are
not holding you, you are holding them. You can simply let go. ~Author
a reminder that our Breakup
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Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone! For
more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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