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From Breakup to Awesome!

It is nearly impossible to live on this earth without experiencing the end of a romantic relationship.....

THREE WAYS TO A POSITIVE BREAKUP RECOVERY
by Tigress Luv 

It is nearly impossible to live on this earth without experiencing the end of a romantic relationship. As we have discussed in previous newsletters (http://tigressluv.com) facing a loss of this kind can be very similar to losing a loved one to death, and in many, many ways FAR worse! Like a physical death, an emotional death can also cause intense feelings of heartache, loss, grief – and rejection. If you recently have experienced this type of loss you probably already know that healing will take time. Naturally, it is important to use this time to feel and release any emotions that come with this loss. Facing intense emotions can be a bit scary and sometimes overwhelming. Because of this, it is mandatory that you determine early on to develop a positive mindset regarding this loss. Here are three tips that will assist you in healing your heart and soul in a positive way.

*Focus your energy on what you intend to gain from this experience

Grab a notebook and a pen and write about what you have learned. Write about what you want to learn. Write about what you desire. What treasures are buried within, just waiting to be found? Do you have an old forgotten passion? Do you want to develop a new passion? This is your experience. You get to determine what you will gain from it.

There is not one… again – NOT ONE – relationship breakup that hasn’t left some kind of positive growth impact on the person who has gone through it. When experiencing a breakup we analyze the true meaning of life; we learn to not take things for granted in the future and to have a better appreciation for the world around us and for the people in it. It is also a time in our life when we seek to find and face our shortcomings and imperfections. We find our faults and weaknesses and we strive to improve them. We gain more spiritual insights. We become harder yet in a ‘softer’ way, wiser, and more in touch with life and its meaning.

We learn who we are.

If you take anything positive from your breakup at all it will be in the form of having a future that will be richer because of the positive growth you will get from the breakup.

*Use positive affirmations

The way you talk to yourself during this time period will have a profound effect on your well being. “My tears heal me every day” is a positive affirmation. Positive affirmations will move you forward. “I was stabbed in the back” is a negative affirmation. Negative affirmations are not productive and will keep you stuck in pain. If you aren’t sure if an affirmation is positive or negative pay attention to your stomach. A positive affirmation will feel at least slightly comforting, whereas a negative affirmation will feel slightly nauseating.

However, oftentimes people will tend to take this out of context. If you have positive affirmations about you and about your breakup then you will heal better, but, ironically, sometimes if you hold onto positive affirmations about the one you lost you will heal slower. That’s why many people will focus on their ex’s shortcomings to help heal them from the loss. By focusing on the negativities of your ex (and believe me THEY DID HAVE THEM) it somehow diminishes the worth of your loss, making the loss not seem all that staggering after all. But if you somehow build your ex up to be the greatest thing since the invention of the seventh-day itself, then it will not help to heal your heart.

*Pray to see yourself through God’s eyes

Recently I watched the movie, Legion, and one of the quotes (you know how I LOVE movie quotes!) from the movie was “I ask myself each morning when I wake up, ‘if I were to die today would I be able to say that I left behind a life that I can be proud of?’.” Well, I don’t remember the exact quote, but it went something like that :).

The point is, can you ask yourself that? Have you made a good, and positive, impact on this planet? Is the world somehow better for having had you in it?

Every morning ask God to allow you to see yourself through His eyes. This can be a remarkably effective technique to gain a true perspective on who you are, how beautiful you are, and how much you really are loved. Praying this simple prayer can be one of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself.

It may also be a sad, eye-opening view of how you don’t quite make the grade!

A simple quest to see yourself through His eyes can be the greatest gift you could ever wish upon yourself, or the greatest prayer you could ever have had answered.

Facing the end of a relationship can be scary and painful. Developing your mindset early on will determine how effectively and quickly you make it through this time period. The good news is that - as with every loss - there are always opportunities for growth and healing. You get to decide in which ways you want to use the experience for your benefit.

~~Nicole Kidman, commenting on her breakup with Tom Cruise, "Now I can wear heels." ~~

Hmmm, so what ‘special’ can I offer you this week? I know I always offer you some kind of special each week (here), but this week it just seems that my well has run dry. LOL! How about for you men out there…? What about a sale on my report, Women Really Do Love Bastards!, at http://www.whywomenlovebastards.com - simply because it was already on sale and I completely forgot to take the sale down (I often do that!)! And being somewhat lazy today, I’ll use it :) It’s a great report! Honestly!

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

Tombstone Movie Quote Kurt Russell (Wyatt Earp) and Val Kilmer (Doc Holliday)

Wyatt: All I ever wanted was to live a normal life.
Doc: When will you wake up? You wouldn't know a normal life if it bit you in the ass.
Wyatt: That's great coming from you.
Doc: I played the cards I was dealt, Wyatt. Your problem is you're always trying to play someone else's. Allow me to tell you the truth and thus set you free: There is no happiness, Wyatt, there is no normal life. There's only life, that's all. Just life. The rest is relative.
Wyatt: Then what do I do?
Doc: First you can grab that black-haired woman and make her your own.
Wyatt: All right. Then what?
Doc: Run. Take that girl and start running. Run and don't look back. All your life you been running and looking back and just barely existing and calling it getting by. This time run and don't look back and call it living. Live every second, live it right up to the hilt. Live, Wyatt! Live for me.

Today's Prayer or Thought:

From ‘Women Really Do Love Bastards!’ at http://whywomenlovebastards.com. Since it’s on sale :) I’ll quote a passage from it:

“Some women need to work at gaining a man's love, in order to feel their own love for him. They need to feel the effort in order to appreciate the rewards. Some romantic tension keeps relationships alive. Think of the old movie, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Remember the tension that energized their relationship? His resistance to her efforts to change him? Her drawn to him as a result? The tension between them? Conflict, such as this, can be invigorating and exciting, don't you think? A little uncertainty keeps some women stimulated and interested. Don't let her take you for granted, don't be an open book, don’t ask "how high" when she says "jump", don't do every little thing she wants you to do ... get it?

By being nice, giving, agreeable, and 'obedient' you may think you are keeping the peace and making her happy, but what you are really doing is showing little self-respect, and losing her respect in you, as well!” Excerpt taken from ‘Women Really Do Love Bastards!’ at http://whywomenlovebastards.com

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

or more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup

Article published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.

Stop your breakup here!




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