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Breakup and Relationship Issues
by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass
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Stop Contact With the Ex
Contact With the Ex...
CONTACT AND YOUR BREAK UP WITH YOUR EX
by Tigress Luv
The foundation of a successful breakup - or a
successful reunion - almost always starts with 'NO CONTACT'. No contact
is not a 'game', but rather a strategy. It is a way for us to
'rediscover ourselves' and also a way for our exes to miss us and want
to have contact with us again. Therefore, 'no contact' works well in
both situations; wanting to get back together or wanting to move on and
"No Contact is about is forcing the other person to face the
realization that you just might never speak to him or her again ...
that (s)he may be out of your life from now on. But those of us on this
site also know that this is part of a strategy. To win him or her back,
but more importantly, to win OURSELVES back.
I wanted to add that I was in no way suggesting that you MAKE it a
game, rather that No Contact is, in part, a strategy if you want to
love her back into your life. None of us on this site like to play
games, but in situations like this, you have to PUT YOURSELF into a
position that gives you the advantage(s) you seek. If you want her
back, the ONLY WAYS it'll happen is through time, introspection,
healing/change, her missing you, and growth. No Contact is the petri
dish through which that can happen. " ~Jonners, from 'Brokenheartsville,
our 'Lifted Hearts Breakup Community'.
"Believe that, even in silence, *something* is happening. If
she truly loves you, and if everything is aligning correctly, she will
be back. But here's the rub. You can't force the kind of alignment you
hope for. All you can do is wait and see what develops.
I believe in the magic of no contact, but you have to work it
correctly. And believe me it's hard. You were the one that got dumped.
So you must be the one to agree that it's over and step back and shut
up."~Tom, from ''Brokenheartsville, our
'Lifted Hearts Breakup Community'.
"They call them waves of emotion for a reason, one minute you
are good and the next a wave hits and your emotions change. It's a
totally natural part of the processing all the pain and anger is one of
those stages and getting angry (as long as it doesn't control you) is
great, it releases a lot of pent up frustration, but never contact your
ex during this time, that is critical, otherwise things will be said
that can not be retracted.
No Contact is definitely for you right now, like you said you have done
work on yourself, but SHE isn't ready, and when and if she is let her
come to you. Focus on you, you, you..."~SunSmile Schelley,
our 'Lifted Hearts Breakup Community'.
know many of you think that the 'no contact' strategy is the same as
giving up the dream of winning them back...
....and it hurts so much to give up that dream and let it go.
But that's NOT what you are doing! Not at all!
Have you ever noticed that if you are trying to remember the name of
someone (i.e.: Who sang that song? What was that actor's name?) that
the more you try to remember their name the less you will be able to?
But then the minute you stop trying to think of it the name just pops
into your head?! Well, sometimes when we go through a breakup we can't
stop thinking about it, either... and what happens then is we really
can't see it very clearly. Nothing logical pops into our heads - it's
just a jumble of emotions and upsets and hurts and pain! Just like that
old expression "can't see the forest for the trees".
I know this sounds impossible, but for just one day STOP thinking about
her or him, the breakup, the situation, all of it! Whether you think
about it or not won't change the fact that you are broken up. This
means that if you stop thinking about it, you're still in the same
situation - nothing will change. But the answers
will come to you more clearly, and with these answers will come
epiphanies. Then you'll understand that it is not a 'game' you're
playing, but rather a logical improvement on a road to a better
relationship - both with yourself and with others.
Please take one day and let the breakup and the ex go and give them
back to themselves, and divert your attention elsewhere ... and then
stand back in amazement as the flood gates burst open and the
epiphanies rush in!
'No Contact' is just one of the tactics covered at The
Breakup Eraser. Comments excerpted from 'Brokenheartsville, our
'Lifted Hearts Breakup Support Forums & Community'.
Inspiration, Poem or Quote:
don't know loneliness until you're the one that has to carry the weight
of others all by yourself." ~
Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru
Prayer or Thought:
is the bait that gets the BIG fish! But to be selfish seems like a
major sin to many, so they give and give and then they feel sorry for
themselves that they have been taken for granted and under-appreciated.
In this they learn to feel 'right' with self-pity, and 'self-pity' is
sometimes the only way we can feel safe in loving ourselves.
Some people give and give and give, all in a desperate search to gain
love. Ironically, it's not the love from others that they seek to gain
or find by the act of their giving, but rather their own right to love
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com !
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone! For
more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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