JULY 14, 2009 - NEEDING OUR EX

Why do we feel like we need another human being? Certainly it is true that we may want someone in our life, but 'need'? Hardly! This sense of need is an exaggeration, it's a false emotion. Intense desire for someone or something creates an illusion of need.

When we miss our ex-partners, or when we are trying to save a relationship, we exaggerate the 'good' in them and in the relationship with them, and when we are trying to get out of a relationship, we exaggerate the 'bad'. If you are the one that was 'dumped' (sorry) you may be exaggerating the 'good' in your ex, while they may be exaggerating the 'bad' in you, or in a relationship with you. Sorry, but it's true. The more you exaggerate their 'good', the more you may feel the false sense of need for them, and the more they exaggerate your 'bad' the more they may feel the false sense of need to get away from you.

WE ALL have the desire to be loved, to be wanted, to be approved of, and to be agreed with. But that's all it is - a desire. We don't need to be loved, wanted, approved of, or agreed with. And we all have the desire to be with our loved ones, to make them happy, to feel them in our arms. But, that too, is just a desire; we really don't need to be with them, to make them happy, to feel them in our arms. It's just a desire.

We actually turn people away from us by our believing that we 'need' them. We devalue ourselves, taking away our credibility, our individualism, and our own sense of self-esteem. We strip ourselves of our dignity. We lose our attractiveness.

The more you need someone, the less likely they will want to be there for you. You become 'work', an 'obligation', or a 'chore'. In fact, they will run just as fast and just as far away from you as they can! They will feel like they are being pulled apart, drained, suffocated, controlled, zapped, and consumed. They will never, ever be free to feel their love for you because they will be in a constant 'pulling away' mode. You actually turn someone against you when you 'need' them.

The above article is an excerpt from my report, 'How to STOP a Breakup and Win an Ex Back', which can found at: http://stopabreakup.com, and from the ebook, 'Break Free From Their Spell' which can be found at http://breakfreefromtheirspell.com .


Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

My Heart Holds the Key
By Tigress Luv

You're still in there, I agree
through misty eyes; salty as the sea
I can feel you trying to get out of me

All my exits have been blocked
there is no way out; the doors are locked
for now I hold the only key...
Why won't my heart give exit to thee?

I beg you please keep searching
for there must be an escape
as the thought of you being held my heart's captive
would be an unimaginable and tragic mistake

By Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru, 7-12-2009



Today's Prayer or Thought:

No matter what happens in my day, I'll try to remember that nothing last forever. If some good should come of my day I will embrace the joy close to my heart and feel its glory. If some bad should come of my day, I'll try to let it slide right by me and remember that, "this, too, shall pass".

Today, before acting on temptation I'll stop and think first, and avoid doing something I might later regret. I'll find healthy alternatives to bad emotions. I'll touch another life in a positive way.

Today I'll try to remember that this day is just for me, and I will never have the opportunity again to shape this day into one that will be forever a beautiful memory. ~Tigress Luv

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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