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Breakup and Relationship Issues

by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass Slipper Publishing

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Advice on Relationship, Breakup, Commitmentphobia, Abuse, Codependency, Narcissist and Narcissism, Breaking Up, Poetry, Poems, articles, blogs, newsletters, books and more...

Love, break up grief, and relationship issue advice for breaking up and mending a broken heart


Keeping it All Together After the Big Goodbye

The absolute most haunting pain of a breakup is the feeling of being unlovable, unworthy and rejectable.....


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by Tigress Luv and by a Member of Our Lifted Hearts Community -

From Revel to Grovel

"Please, please please please please take me back!"

Of all the uncomfortable feelings that happen after a breakup, some of the most devastating are the feelings of being unlovable, unworthy and rejectable. You lose so much pride that it's hard to think of any way to gain it back short of re-gaining their heart and love back, and of being worthy of being in a relationship with 'them' once again.

You'd do just about anything to restore your ego, pride and feelings of self-esteem.

And all you end up doing is losing more pride by acting in undesirable and desperate ways. You plead, you beg, you stalk, you cry, you threaten, and you dream incessantly about ways of getting back in their good and loving graces.

The loss of pride after a breakup causes us to try to convince our partners that they are 'wrong', and that our way is 'right'. We try logical reasoning, pouting, coercing, blaming, begging, pleading, demanding, being sad, being angry - any way we can to get them to see our way. But rarely do we stop and see things their way. Our pride gets in the way of letting us do that.

I recently received an email from a past Lifted Hearts member. Here is a part of that email:

"....But if it weren't for me remembering the name "Lifted Hearts" (which DID save my life at one horribly dismal point; thank GOD for Tiggy!), then I never would have found you. It's BEEN YEARS! ... The irony of all of this is that I came to Lifted Hearts with a BROKEN heart; over the selfsame person who is in the other room and whom I can no longer tolerate! His negativity begins to wear on me and pulls me down........amazing that it was MY EGO THAT WAS PISSED OFF ABOUT GETTING DUMPED, not my HEART!!!!!!!!!!!! Live and learn, but don't paint yourself in a corner where not only am I 'truly' stuck, but that I've got the prospect of going through the whole 'you go your way I go mine' (break up) ahead of me; I cannot, will not, live with this person who is honestly SO NICE, but such an asshole when it comes to relationships and dealing with me."

It's amazing how many people in a breakup believe it is the loss of their mate that causes them the grief, when in reality it is the loss of their ego and pride (which was somehow destroyed by the rejection) that hurts them the most ... and it is that very loss of ego and pride that is now causing them to feel a desperate (yet deceiving) need to regain their ex-boyfriend's or ex-girlfriend's love and approval.

Once you realize this, you can take steps to understand how this loss of pride and ego has caused you grief, and how the more you try in a desperate, needy manner to win your ex back the more you will be even more worthy of their rejection and the more you will lose your dignity, pride, and ego.

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Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

Breakup Grief -vs- Over It and Moved On

Breakup Grief
REMORSE: All of a sudden noticing that your ex was wonderful and being in awe that they were so good-looking, funny, witty, smart, and a great catch.

Over It and Moved On
RELIEF: All of a sudden noticing that your ex is an idiot and being in awe that you ever thought they were good-looking, funny, witty, smart, or a great catch.

Today's Prayer or Thought:

The After Breakup Encounter

First encounter early on in the breakup:

They notice things about the other for the first time since they met, but pretend to not notice. This is the ouch encounter where both go home and cry their eyes out til the sun comes up

Second encounter weeks later:

May pass polite conversation. He asks about the dog, she asks how things are at work.

Third encounter, moving on stage:

Slam dunk. Back to square one. The grieving starts all over again. And just when you thought you were moving on.

Fourth encounter, moved on to new relationship:

She wonders what she ever saw in him. He wonders if she is having sex with the new guy.

Just a reminder that our Breakup Support Forums & Community has room for you! Membership is only $19 to YOU at !

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!
For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup

Article published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup Support Forums & Community at

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