(Taken with permission from
a post on the "Codependent Support Group" Board)
"If you want to know what alanon and codependency
groups do for a person, this reading pretty much says it all. It doesn't
tell you how to do it, (going to meetings will help you with that) it gives
you the end result if you are able to give either one of these groups a real
chance. Kat is a perfect example of how it works. You talk, and you talk,
and you read and you listen, and then one day you are different! You know
what is good for you and what is not. You're mouth opens and all this stuff!!!
comes out. It is wonderful. Freedom is what it is called."
Below is the Dec. 5th
The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie.
Few things can make us
feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.
Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he
or she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone
he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning
particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years
trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot
or will not.
It is time to let it
go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that
person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes
when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person
to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone
he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive
We learn to love and
care differently in a way that takes reality into account.
We enter into a relationship
with that person on new terms - taking ourselves and our needs into account.
If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people,
we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his
or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom
We stop letting what
we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for
our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.
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We decided how we want
to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into
account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness.
We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.
This the heart of detaching
Today, I will work at
detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept
reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of
myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual
freedom for both people as my goal.
Have a great week
ladies, unless of course you have other plans! lol Love Susan
(cl-mist99-Codependants Support Group)
Read "Breakup Daily Inspirations & Motivations". Click here
Chasers: The CP Addiction (Falling in Love and
Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person) and join in on the CP-Anon board. You can be
reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are
in love with a commitmentphobic person, in less than two
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!