LET YOUR RELATIONSHIP GO AND IT WILL GROW (If You Want Your Relationship to Work You Should Just 'Forget About It'!)
By Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru


I am writing this article to debunk the misconception that relationships are something that you have to 'work' at to make them successful. I am going to shock you by suggesting to you that just the opposite may be true! ... That the less 'work' you put into a relationship, the more lasting the relationship may be.

I have long ago exposed that riveting :) and oh-so-revealing secret that the partner who gives the 'least' in a relationship is the partner who holds the most power in the relationship. I have touched on this concept in some of my previous articles and in some of my eBooks, as well.

If you think back about many a failed relationship you may see a pattern where one party hung on to, clung to, worked excessively at, or invested an inordinate amount of energy into the relationship over that of the other partner. In almost every instance you will see that the person who didn't work on the relationship was the person who held the upper power - and also the person who may have made the decision to end the relationship. To these people their relationship lost its natural and fun appeal and they ceased to be attracted to their partner. To sum it up - the relationship became too much of an ordeal - too much 'work' for them, and their partners became too demanding or too needy.

Unfortunately some people think that a relationship is something that needs to be 'worked at' or 'worked on' constantly. Women are more guilty of this misconception than are men, but men can do some 'overworking' on the relationship, as well. Both men and women visit bookstores and libraries seeking books on 'strengthening relationships', or they go online and desperately search for articles on how to make their relationships stronger, or how to create better communication between the two partners, or how to BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

I hate to tell you this, but odds are a good many of these well-meaning people end up in a broken relationship! Why? Because they worried so much about losing their relationship that they subsequently worked too hard on bettering it and keeping it strong. The relationship suffered or failed simply because they tried to steer the course of it instead of accepting it and just 'letting it happen' in its natural state. The relationship failed to grow because they thought a relationship was an entity that needed to receive a certain diet or nurturing soil in order to flourish and grow, so they force fed it an unnatural component.

See the one thing that many 'experts' forget to tell you is that if you have to 'work' at a relationship, it then becomes a 'job', a 'chore' or a 'nuisance'. It becomes something that needs our constant fear and attention. It becomes a burdensome load on our back and ceases to be that fun and enriching experience it once was.

It ceases to be relaxing and 'natural' and becomes laborious and 'uncomfortable'.

To sum it all up, when a good relationship is fun and enhances our life we can become too dependent on it as it brings us so much joy. What happens then is that we start worrying obsessively about losing this source of our joy and so we start analyzing its strengths and weaknesses - and that's when we begin our quest for advice on how to 'keep it strong'. This is usually the beginning to an end.

Relationships shouldn't be 'work' - they should be a 'natural' connection between two people; a connection that just happens on its own. That's why the person who holds the most power in the relationship is the very same person who doesn't have to 'work' at it...who accepts it as just being, who lets it happen naturally and doesn't force it to be one way or the other. It's when the other partner starts trying to force the relationship to go one way or another, or be this way or that way, that the relationship starts to crumble and disintegrate.

Now please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that if your relationship is in trouble, or if there is infidelity or other 'relationship breakers' going on in it that you shouldn't fight for your relationship, or that you should just 'ignore' the whole thing. I am saying, though, that sometimes relationships are best when they are just left alone and allowed to happen naturally.

Also visit The Breakup Eraser (FOUND AT http://breakuperaser.com) to read "The Breakup Eraser".

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

"Being on the 'begging end' of a relationship makes one single the same way that wearing a fishnet condom makes one pregnant." ~ Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru.

Today's Prayer or Thought:

"In our endeavor to be as important to our partners as they are to us, we can sometimes become retentive, suffocating, controlling, cunning, and self-reproaching. When we need to keep someone in our life this intensely, we usually end up creating more havoc in the relationship that it can withstand. We end up embarrassed, ashamed, and stripped of our dignity - and even less close to our goal than when we started.

Today let us remember that a relationship is a natural occurrence between two people and one which we should learn to just let go of and leave it to run its own, natural course. Love with our soul and without self-serving expectations and our relationships will grow and flourish on their own." ~ Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru.

Just a reminder that our Brokenheartsville Community has room for you! Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://brokenheartsville.com !

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

Tiggy

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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