JULY 6, 2009 - IDEALIZING YOUR EX

Well, hello! I hope everyone had a great Independence Day weekend :)

I was hoping that today I would be able to write to you that I was starting week two of being 'smoke-free', but I am sorry to say that I didn't even make it to 'day two'! There is just too much going on in my life right now to survive the added stress of nicotine withdrawal to it. LOL. I will try to quit smoking again in a couple of weeks -  when things in my life settle down some.

Sitting outside in my yard Saturday night and watching the fireworks was the most stress-free time I've had lately. Unfortunately, this year my mind kept drifting away from the firework display and onto things that were weighing heavily on my mind since my breakup.

Although the relationship with him (my ex) was really bad the last few years we were together (as talked about in my ebook 'The Counterfeit Heart'), the end of a relationship is still always a sad time, even if you can rejoice in the long-overdue freedom from the hurt and upset that the relationship may have brought to you.

Yes, my relationship was very hurtful towards the end. He became especially abusive and cruel. And although it feels good to be out of that situation, I still mourn the loss of his companionship.

The sane thing any one of us can do is to realize that their 'companionship' may have brought us far more grief than happiness. But after a breakup, we tend to 'idealize' our exes, and 'deny' the cold, hard facts...AND THAT IS THE COLD, HARD FACT THAT THEY WEREN'T ALL THAT GREAT! But the pain caused by a heartbreak is so extreme at times that it makes us give them a false sense of having a 'higher power' than they actually deserve or possess.

Ironically, even though you may be 'idealizing' your ex, did you ever notice that the aftershock of a breakup brings about a certain clarity of thoughts that being in the relationship can't? You see things both about yourself, and your ex, that were not all that evident when you were together. You see how you BOTH made mistakes and poor judgments, and you think to yourself, "If only I could go back and change these things then we could have made the relationship work." Unfortunately, there may be no going back and you may have to learn to deal with the loss and move on. But the good news is you can now see both the positive and the negative in yourself, and you can grow with this knowledge, bettering yourself for future relationships.

It takes a sound mind and heart clear from all sense of loss and grief to really see the truth about your ex and his or her faults and flaws. Until then, expect your deceitful (YES, DECEITFUL!) little heart and mind to play tricks with you and distort your memories. Trust me, no past love is as wonderful as a broken heart may make them out to be.

"Trust me, no past love is as wonderful as a
broken heart may make them out to be." ~ Tigress Luv

Take the time this week to really see the truth about your ex. Don't cloud or distort their wonder because you miss them and the relationship, but rather try to see them in a clear reality. List their faults, their flaws, and the terrible way they could make you feel at times. They probably weren't anywhere near as grand as your broken heart is building them out to be.

This week ONLY I'm offering a FANTASTIC deal for all our women readers out there who really want to get their ex-boyfriend back (despite his flaws LOL). The whole 'How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back' Advice Kit for less than a dinner for one! And, as an added bonus, anyone who gets the Advice Kit I will send a copy of my ebook, "The 45 Reasons Why He Dumped Your Ass" to you FREE. Just drop me an email with your receipt number, and the ebook is yours for free. It has 45 reasons why men break it off with women, and the CURE for them.

The Advice Kit and FREE ebook bonus isn't just about getting your ex back; it is about building a better, more lovable you! To view the kit please go to http://boyfriendback.com/coverpage.html

SECTION TWO:

Today's Inspiration or Quote:

"We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full." - Marcel Prous

Today's Prayer or Thought:

"Today I'll try to find just one gift that has come out of my painful experience, and see if that gift can help me find new ways of loving myself, and new insights into future happiness. Sometimes, we thank God for unanswered prayers. Upon searching in my past, I find that many of my bad experiences have actually contained miracles in disguise.

Today I'll try to focus on the fact that the worst thing that ever happened to me, may be the best thing that ever happened to me." ~Tigress Luv

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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