AUGUST 11 - 'WHEN GOOD RELATIONSHIPS GO BAD'

This week I received an email from a woman who had read my ebook, 'Women Really Do Love Bastards'' (http://whywomenlovebastards.com)

She stated, "I just purchased and am reading your "Bastards" book. I stumbled across it and feel its been a true godsend!

I have been the pampered bitch my whole life. Well, at least in the dating realm. I've been blessed with an abundance amount of beauty and have never really had to work at relationships with men. If I didn't get what I wanted... I moved on to the next. Now, 20 years (I'm 36) into dating, never been married.... I'm exhausted. I've dated every kind of guy there is .....trying to find out exactly what kind of man would be the one for me..... until 4 months ago when I met a guy who rocked my world to the core!

He is a bastard! Exactly like your book describes! The way he treated me drove me insane... I became addicted. My question is this.....

Since you were so brilliant to finally get the "bastard" traits that women want... what brilliant advice can you give women to make sure they keep their "bastard"?

I know now that he and all his "bastard behaviour" is exactly what I want in a man.

I never want to make the same mistake again! It's taken me 20 years to figure out what kind of a man I want, if I am ever blessed with the presence of such a greatness like my dear bastard again, I don't want to screw it up."

I had to read her letter a few times. Was she asking me for advice on how to win and keep this type of attractive man - the man I told men how to become in my ebook?

Curious, I went back and reread my ebook since it had been a while. While reading, I ran across a statement of mine in the ebook:

"The person who holds the 'power' in a relationship is the person who remains 'resistant' to the other party, and who gives the least to the relationship."

Ah, so true! Especially at the end of a relationship...where one party usually becomes an 'active' partner and one becomes a 'non-active' party.

The active/nonactive match-up.

In most relationships you will find that one party is actively or aggressively interested in the relationship - and one party is receptively or passively interested.

What I mean by this is one party is actively seeking ways to better the relationship; to work out problems; to keep love and romance alive; to keep, save, or 'regain' their partner's love; and to pursue a more deep and meaningful relationship with that of their partner.

When one person takes an active role in their relationship they seek to satisfy their partner, to improve their partner's happiness, and to secure their partner's love.

On the other hand, you have the 'non-active', 'passive', or 'receptive' party who does just the opposite. Not only do they not 'pursue' their partner, or work on their relationship, but they have a more 'let's just sit-back and wait' attitude. They may be receptive to their partner's advances and attention, but do not reciprocate with any of their own. They take a passive role in their relationships, and have an attitude of not how they can make their partner happy, or what they can 'add' to their relationships...but rather an attitude of 'how can my partner make ME happy' and 'what can I get out of this relationship'?

It is an even stranger phenomenon that these roles can be switched at anytime. Once the active partner assumes the 'non-active' role, the passive partner takes over the aggressive role of pursuing the relationship and working towards the happiness of their partner. It's like a cat-and-mouse game.

I have often been amazed how many people cannot feel their love for another when that partner's love is given to them freely, but can feel totally immersed in their partner when they have to work for their partner's affections. This is an example of the passive/aggressive relationship, and many good-relationships-gone-bad fall into this category.

Last weeks' special held over:

Well, you know every week I offer my faithful readers a special deal on one of my reports or ebooks. Last week I put together a neat, little package I call 'The Breakup Eraser', and it is a two-phase method for stopping your breakup, getting them to come back to you, and making them fall in love with you all over again. For those of you who would like to take advantage of last week's special offer, I held it over one more week. Please point your browser to http://www.howtowinanexback.com

And, as usual, my readers are entitled to join the Brokenheartsville Community at a special, reduced rate at http://brokenheartsville.com

For more information on the getting over a breakup and going through changes please visit my site: http://overabreakup.com

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

"You closing your heart to me, opened my heart to you." ~Tigress Luv

"I saw you the other day, but you didn't see me. I was the one hiding in the recesses of your mind." ~ Tigress Luv

Today's Inspiration, Prayer or Thought:

"Sometimes in our attempt to find happiness we love too much, falsely believing that only another can bring the sun up in our morning.

When we place this burden upon another we relinquish our rights to joy, we hand over our power to another, and we erroneously inflate their status in our minds. This is a false love. The object of our burden becomes our Higher Power, and we, in return, become their slave.

Today let me remind myself that I can see the sun rise on my own, and that I, alone, hold my own Power in the palms of my hands." ~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru~

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

Tiggy

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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