to Fall out of Love
By Tigress Luv & Glass
'dumpees' the world over, the BIG question is: How in the heck am I
supposed to fall out of love with my ex?
The biggest mistake
most people make when they breakup with their partner is to believe
that they somehow have to instantly, magically "fall out of love" with
their ex. That simply is just not so. Feel the love for your ex in your
heart, allow the memories and good feelings to flow if you want...but
just remember while allowing your heart to feel the love to also use
your brain to receive feedback that it is over and will not work out.
Feel free to feel the love but accept the fact that it is over, too.
You can love him/her for the rest of eternity if you'd like. There is
NO reason to think you have to 'fall out of love' with
him/her...however you do need to go through the grief of loss, the
withdrawal from that which has become an addiction if you'd like, and
acknowledge and accept that the relationship is over. This is the key
to getting past the grief to a point where our hearts are open and love
can re-enter our lives.
just 'will' your heart to not love someone anymore than you can will
your heart not to beat. It just isn't possible! What is possible,
however, is to 'allow' yourself to fall out of love. If the
relationship is over then stop fighting it, and
learn to accept it - learn how to 'allow' your heart to stop loving
your heart to stop loving your ex is hard - it means admitting to
ourselves that the relationship is over, and that we will be okay - no
matter what. To allow your heart to fall out of love means to
open it back up and 'allow' others in. You can speed up this process by
either getting rid of anything that reminds you of your ex, or by
packing it away - out of sight. By clinging to the
love you are not keeping the relationship alive -
like your mind has convincingly deceived you into believing - all you
are doing is keeping the grief alive.
interests, change something about yourself or your life that you were
dissatisfied with, find new hobbies, join clubs or groups and make new
friends. This is a time of rebirth for you - a second chance at life -
so go for it with all the gusto that you possibly can!
more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup
NOTE: Leaving a narcissist creates its own special
set of emotional difficulties. To read up about narcissists and why
it's so difficult to let go of a relationship with a narcissist, please
Up With Your Narcissist...
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!