They Ask for a 'Time Out'...
BEFORE ENDING YOUR
RELATIONSHIP..."Why ask for a "time-out'?"
by Tigress luv & Glass
Why Ask For a 'Time-Out'
(NOTE: This is the second part of a three-part
series to be delivered over the month. Part One: Questions To Ask
Yourself BEFORE Ending a Relationship. Part Two: The REAL Reasons Why
People Ask for Relationship 'Breaks' or a 'Time-Out'. Part Three: How
to End a Relationship)
Part Two: The REAL Reasons Why People Ask for Relationship 'Breaks' or
Some people may think they are playing it safe
by asking for a 'time out'. For the most part, "I want a 'time-out'"
1. THE "OKAY" TO CHEAT OPTION: "I've
met somebody hot and I want to sleep with them. When I am done sailing
other waters I may sail my vessel on yours again, but free from the
guilt of betraying you as, technically, we will be 'broken up' when I
will be with this other person."
2. THE 'MISTAKE ERASER' OPTION: "I
really want to break up with you, but if I'm no good at being alone, or
if I can't find somebody else, I want to know I can always go back to
3. THE COWARD'S WAY OUT OPTION: "I
really, truly want to end my relationship with you, but I am not brave
enough to tell you that it is over, or I just can't stand to hurt you
and see you cry. Therefore I will suggest a 'time-out' in hopes that
you either meet somebody else, or that we just slowly and painlessly
'drift apart' and move on in opposite directions."
("Why did you leave me? When did you leave me? Where was I when this happened? "~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru)
4. THE WAKE-UP CALL OPTION: "You
are NOT listening to me when I tell you that there are things that I
want/need from you that you are not giving me, or that there is a
certain behavior of yours that I just cannot tolerate anymore - but one
that you just don't seem to make an effort to stop or change. Therefore
I'm asking for a time-out, hoping that in the interim you will see how
truly valuable I am to you and make the choice to change your
undesirable behavior and mend your ways before you lose me
5. DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME OPTION: "YOU
messed up and I need time away from you to decide what I want to do
(Translation: A, do I love you enough to work it through and/or forgive
you.... B, were we both equally, or, at least, partially responsible,
or C, does your wrongdoing prove to me that you really do not love me -
at least not in the way that I need to be loved?)"
6. DO I REALLY LOVE YOU OPTION: "I have
doubts or I messed up and I'm now confused over whether I really, truly
love you or not. I keep thinking that if I really, truly loved you I
would not have done this 'thing' that I did, or have these doubts about
you being the 'one' for me."
What can you do if your partner asks you for a 'time-out'?
Well, there is a lot to be heard from the old saying that one 'cannot
see the forest for the trees'. Sometimes a 'time-out' can lead to an
eye-opening epiphany into your deepest of emotions and feelings; your
fears and desires; or into understanding what is truly important to you
or what you really can easily learn to live without.
Sometimes a 'time-out' can work in your favor! It creates a perfect
opportunity for showing your partner just how important and valuable
your presence is in their life. However, your partner will never miss
you or see the value in you if you are right there constantly in their
face with text messages, phone calls, emails, etc., or if you act or
behave in a desperate or hopeless way.
The best thing you can possibly do is to graciously grant them the
'time out' and take that time, yourself, to taste your own freedom, to
examine your inner motives, to question your love, and to reconnect
with 'you'. The worst thing you can do is to harass them, threaten
them, cling to them, or beg and plead with them to take you back! Give
them the time out that they request with a gentle and quiet class and
dignity, but make sure that you take the 'time out' for yourself, too!
At one time or another, we all need our 'space' - our 'time out' - and
for whatever reason we may need this space we shouldn't be put in a
spot where we feel we are forced to sacrifice our 'personal time/space'
to that of another. We only end up with resentment for them; feelings
of being burdened, suffocated or smothered by them; or even possibly
feelings of superiority over them!
Note: Our breakup forums & support community has just had a
brand-new makeover! We now have all of my ebooks, as well as some
other's, plus hundreds of articles on breaking up, narcissism,
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Magazine and more - plus our breakup poems galore, and, of course, our
loving and insightful support forum. Check it out today at our reduced
cost of just $19. http://liftedhearts.com .
Inspiration, Poem or Quote:
"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you"
Prayer or Thought:
Love of Another Cannot Fix Our Own Wrongness:
'Love' is not a fix for our own wrongness. We have to find the wounds
within ourselves and listen to them. When we can eliminate the
wrongness within ourselves we can feel free from the obsessive love we
give to our partners.
This week let us understand that only we can make ourselves feel whole.
Another person may enhance upon our personality, but needn't be there
to give it definition and meaning"
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com !
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!