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Tigress
Luv's Break Up Support Blog and Newsletter
by Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru
BEFORE ENDING YOUR
RELATIONSHIP...
By Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru
'Questions to Ask Before Ending a Relationship'
(NOTE: This is the first part of a three-part series to be delivered over
the month of December.
Part One: Dec 8th (Todays' Newsletter) - Questions To Ask Yourself BEFORE
Ending a Relationship
Part Two: Dec 21th - The REAL Reasons Why People Ask for Relationship 'Breaks'
or a 'Time-Out'
Part Three: Dec 28st - How to End a
Relationship
Part One: What Questions Should You Ask Yourself Before Ending a
Relationship?
1) DO I REALLY WANT TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP? Make sure you are SURE
you want to end the relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide
you want to do a u-turn and go back. There are many ways to break up with
your partner; there aren't that many ways to get them back after you ripped
their world apart. Most of the time, once a relationship is over, it is
over. Are there any questions to ask yourself before ending the relationship
with your soon-to-be ex? Yes, this is a big - and permanent step - so make
sure you have resolved to the fact that the relationship is over.
2) HOW WILL MY WORLD BE DIFFERENT WITHOUT THEM IN IT? Will your life
be better or worse? Will there be more peace, or will there be emptiness?
Do they improve your life, or do they make your life full of anxiety
and stress?
3) CAN OUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS BE WORKED OUT? Many relationships
have problems that seem huge, but in reality are really quite manageable.
It is easy to seek outside help, or to buy books that are aimed at helping
you get through difficult relationship problems. Some problems, however,
like abuse, are not 'fixable'. One should never stay in an abusive relationship.
Life is too short to waste it living in unhappiness and fear.
4) DO YOU SECRETLY HOPE THAT ENDING THE
RELATIONSHIP WILL ACTUALLY BRING THEM CLOSER TO YOU? Are you hoping that
by leaving your mate you make them realize that they are behaving or treating
you in a way that just isn't acceptable by you? Are you hoping that ending
the relationship will 'wake your mate up' and treat you better?
5) ARE YOU GOING TO REGRET ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP? This is serious
question. Can you imagine your life without this person in it? Does the thought
of them moving on and getting involved with someone else make you shudder?
6) IS OUR PRIDE AND EGO GETTING IN THE WAY OF OUR HAPPINESS TOGETHER?
Sometimes, pride can destroy the best of relationships. There is no place
for pride in a successful relationship. It can be awfully lonely being 'right'.
Often times the key to relationship success is to throw away your pride and
just be the fall-guy... "Yep, I'm an idiot and I was the wrong one. I'm
sorry."
7) IS MY LACK OF ABILITY TO ACCEPT THEM 100% CAUSING A RELATIONSHIP RIFT?
If you cannot accept your partner 100% - faults, flaws, quirks, and all
- then you will not be happy with them. Getting out of this relationship
will not cure you. You will not ever be happy in any relationship
without first learning that the key to 'relationship happiness' is in being
able to acknowledge and accept all your partners negative characteristics
as well as their positive ones, because every partner you will ever have
will have some 'flaw'. Nothing is perfect in nature.
8) ANSWER THE BELOW QUESTIONS HONESTLY: For instance, don't fill in
the question with a romantic or angry look at your partner, but RATHER with
an honest and UNBIASED answer.
Do you love spending time together?
Do you rarely disagree on things?
Do you have a lot in common, and share many interests?
Is the sex good?
Are you physically attracted to their appearance?
Do they treat your family and friends well?
Do they have a pleasing personality?
Can you talk to this person?
Do you know why you want to break up?
Do you both share the same dreams, aspirations, and goals?
Do you fight a lot?
Do they show you they care by doing those little things that often go unnoticed?
Do they ever make you feel bad about yourself?
Are they truthful and loyal?
Are you scared of this person?
Many people think they have the upper hand in a relationship should they
be the one to end it 'first'. Not so. Initiating a breakup doesn't give you
power over how the other person thinks or feels.
("When I said I don't want to see
you anymore why did you choose that particular statement to be the only one
you ever listened to?" ~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru)
Remember that once you end a relationship, it
may be over - lost and gone to you - forever. Therefore please think long
and hard before making the decision to end a relationship.
Some people may think they are playing it safe by asking for a 'time out'
instead of actually just ending it. For the most part, a 'time-out' means...
(PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR NEXT WEEK'S NEWSLETTER FOR THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION)
How you can stop the
ending of your relationship.
Section 2
Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:
"My special place. It's a place no amount
of hurt and anger can deface. I put things back together there. It all falls
right in place - In my special space. My special place." ~ Joni Mitchell
Today's Prayer or Thought:
"Just for today I will make my very own special
place. Whether it be in my heart, in my mind, or in my home. A sanctuary
where I can go and visit 'me', away from the world outside. A place that
exists only to embrace me. A space set aside, from all that abides. My space
can be chiseled out of a forest bed, carved out of a golden meadow, or gently
echoed in my heart. See, that I have a space is not for you, but for me.
Just for today I will find my own sanctuary, and park my troubles outside
its door to await for me to retrieve them when I return from.... My Special
Place." ~ Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru.
Just a reminder that our Brokenheartsville Community has room for you! Membership
is only $19 to YOU at
http://brokenheartsville.com !
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback
and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
Tiggy
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For more information about getting over
the pain of breakup, please read How to
Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.
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