BEFORE ENDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP...
By Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru


'Questions to Ask Before Ending a Relationship'

(NOTE: This is the first part of a three-part series to be delivered over the month of December.
Part One: Dec 8th (Todays' Newsletter) - Questions To Ask Yourself BEFORE Ending a Relationship
Part Two: Dec 21th - The REAL Reasons Why People Ask for Relationship 'Breaks' or a 'Time-Out'
Part Three: Dec 28st - How to End a Relationship

Part One: What Questions Should You Ask Yourself Before Ending a Relationship?

1) DO I REALLY WANT TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP? Make sure you are SURE you want to end the relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide you want to do a u-turn and go back. There are many ways to break up with your partner; there aren't that many ways to get them back after you ripped their world apart. Most of the time, once a relationship is over, it is over. Are there any questions to ask yourself before ending the relationship with your soon-to-be ex? Yes, this is a big - and permanent step - so make sure you have resolved to the fact that the relationship is over.

2) HOW WILL MY WORLD BE DIFFERENT WITHOUT THEM IN IT? Will your life be better or worse? Will there be more peace, or will there be emptiness? Do they improve your life, or do they make your life full of anxiety and stress?

3) CAN OUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS BE WORKED OUT? Many relationships have problems that seem huge, but in reality are really quite manageable. It is easy to seek outside help, or to buy books that are aimed at helping you get through difficult relationship problems. Some problems, however, like abuse, are not 'fixable'. One should never stay in an abusive relationship. Life is too short to waste it living in unhappiness and fear.

4) DO YOU SECRETLY HOPE THAT ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP WILL ACTUALLY BRING THEM CLOSER TO YOU? Are you hoping that by leaving your mate you make them realize that they are behaving or treating you in a way that just isn't acceptable by you? Are you hoping that ending the relationship will 'wake your mate up' and treat you better?

5) ARE YOU GOING TO REGRET ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP? This is serious question. Can you imagine your life without this person in it? Does the thought of them moving on and getting involved with someone else make you shudder?

6) IS OUR PRIDE AND EGO GETTING IN THE WAY OF OUR HAPPINESS TOGETHER? Sometimes, pride can destroy the best of relationships. There is no place for pride in a successful relationship. It can be awfully lonely being 'right'. Often times the key to relationship success is to throw away your pride and just be the fall-guy... "Yep, I'm an idiot and I was the wrong one. I'm sorry."

7) IS MY LACK OF ABILITY TO ACCEPT THEM 100% CAUSING A RELATIONSHIP RIFT? If you cannot accept your partner 100% - faults, flaws, quirks, and all - then you will not be happy with them. Getting out of this relationship will not cure you. You will not ever be happy in any relationship without first learning that the key to 'relationship happiness' is in being able to acknowledge and accept all your partners negative characteristics as well as their positive ones, because every partner you will ever have will have some 'flaw'. Nothing is perfect in nature.

8) ANSWER THE BELOW QUESTIONS HONESTLY: For instance, don't fill in the question with a romantic or angry look at your partner, but RATHER with an honest and UNBIASED answer.

Do you love spending time together?
Do you rarely disagree on things?
Do you have a lot in common, and share many interests?
Is the sex good?
Are you physically attracted to their appearance?
Do they treat your family and friends well?
Do they have a pleasing personality?
Can you talk to this person?
Do you know why you want to break up?
Do you both share the same dreams, aspirations, and goals?
Do you fight a lot?
Do they show you they care by doing those little things that often go unnoticed?
Do they ever make you feel bad about yourself?
Are they truthful and loyal?
Are you scared of this person?

Many people think they have the upper hand in a relationship should they be the one to end it 'first'. Not so. Initiating a breakup doesn't give you power over how the other person thinks or feels.

("When I said I don't want to see you anymore why did you choose that particular statement to be the only one you ever listened to?" ~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru)

Remember that once you end a relationship, it may be over - lost and gone to you - forever. Therefore please think long and hard before making the decision to end a relationship.

Some people may think they are playing it safe by asking for a 'time out' instead of actually just ending it. For the most part, a 'time-out' means... (PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR NEXT WEEK'S NEWSLETTER FOR THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION)

How you can stop the ending of your relationship.

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

"My special place. It's a place no amount of hurt and anger can deface. I put things back together there. It all falls right in place - In my special space. My special place." ~ Joni Mitchell

Today's Prayer or Thought:

"Just for today I will make my very own special place. Whether it be in my heart, in my mind, or in my home. A sanctuary where I can go and visit 'me', away from the world outside. A place that exists only to embrace me. A space set aside, from all that abides. My space can be chiseled out of a forest bed, carved out of a golden meadow, or gently echoed in my heart. See, that I have a space is not for you, but for me.

Just for today I will find my own sanctuary, and park my troubles outside its door to await for me to retrieve them when I return from.... My Special Place." ~ Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru.

Just a reminder that our Brokenheartsville Community has room for you! Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://brokenheartsville.com !

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

Tiggy

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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