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by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass
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How to Recognize an Emotional Abuser
Abusive Relationships: Are You In One?
By Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publsihing, The Break Up
abusive relationships can be very damaging because there is no
'concrete' thing that can be seen - and so the cause often goes
unnoticed. We often just have an 'uneasy' feeling until it is too late
and the damage has been done. Emotionally abusive relationships may
show as little as only three, but as much as all of the following
your mate irritated, upset, or angry with you often, sometimes several
times a week or more? Are they upset with you even though you had no
intention of upsetting them? Are you often times surprised by their
anger or sudden outburst? Is their anger directed at 'you' or something
they say 'you' did or didn't do? Does he blame 'you' for his outrage,
anger, or upset? Does he deny to you his being angry or upset? Do you
find yourself questioning everything you do as you do it, lest it
he refuse to discuss any upsetting issues with you, or accuse you of
trying to start an argument if you bring them up? Do you feel that the
issues that arise are never resolved? Do you feel uneasy, unhappy,
depressed, or edgy because of these unresolved issues?
he frequently misunderstand your intentions? Do you end up feeling
perplexed and frustrated at his misconstruing your every action?
you find yourself dismissing the bigger issues of your relationship,
such as children, financial investments, or retirement planning because
your daily lack of communication is consuming your emotional energy.
For instance, do you often worry about him misunderstanding something
he thought you said, or what you thought he said? Are the simple little
day-to-day issues consuming the big picture?
you sometimes feel like there is something wrong with 'you'? Do you
sometimes feel bad and can't figure out why?
your mate secretive? Does he rarely, if ever, share his thoughts or
plans with you, or discuss issues with you?
your mate almost always disagree with you? If you say the sky is blue
do they say it is grey? If you found a movie to be good do they claim
it was bad? Are you always made to feel like you are wrong and he is
you punished when you say "No", or are you made to feel you haven't the
right to say “Stop this”? Do you feel obligated to 'give in' just to
your mate get angry or pretend ignorance if you approach him to discuss
an issue? Do you bite your tongue and hold things in?
you feel like your mate holds all the power in your relationship? Do
you find yourself asking for 'permission' to do something or get
something, as if you were a child? Do you often apologize for your
behavior? Does your mate overpower you making you feel 'needy' and
'humble' to them?
you gradually stopped talking to or seeing your family? Have you lost
contact with your friends? Does your mate criticize your friends, or
belittle your family members? Does he complain when you visit them to
the point where you stop just to avoid the confrontation and argument?
Does your mate's behavior often embarrass you? Does your 'bowing down
to him' behavior embarrass you?
you think that everything is your fault and that if you can somehow fix
your flaws that everything would be okay in the relationship?
you often give in to his sexual demands to keep the peace? Do you have
sex, or consent to unreasonable sexual demands, even if you don't want
he do drugs or drink alcohol? Does his personality change when he does
these? Do you find yourself having an uneasy 'sinking feeling' when you
hear or see him pop open a beer?
he make fun of you or joke around about your flaws?
he laugh at his own mistakes, or himself, or admit to his own
shortcomings and weaknesses?
he quickly and easily admit when he's wrong? Can he apologize for his
own behaviors? Does he make excuses for his behavior and blame it on
someone or something else? Does he point the finger at you and make you
feel like you are the reason for his upsets or to fault for his
he make all the decisions in the relationship? Does he plan outings,
finances, vacations, retirement, children's discipline, the car, etc?
he control, curtail, or disapprove of your spending? Has he put you on
an allowance, or strict budget, yet has complete freedom to spend as he
wishes? Does he keep you financially needy of him?
you feel frightened or uneasy if he caught you reading this
questionnaire, or taking this test?
If you have answered yes to just three of these questions, odds are you
are in an emotionally abusive relationship. You probably find yourself
often depressed and wondering why. You may just feel 'unhappy' but
can't put your finger on the source of your unhappiness. Or you may
find yourself thinking that you are clumsy, stupid, incompetent, wrong,
or no-good. These are all subtle signs of being emotionally abused.
more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup
NOTE: 'Devaluing' their mate is an abuse tactic
often used by narcissists in a breakup. To read up about narcissists
and why they demonize or devalue you - plus their other 'subtle' abuse
tactics, please visit Breaking Up
With Your Narcissist.)
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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