'SHOULD I JOIN A DATING SITE?'
Or 'Why I Hate eHarmony'
By Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru

With your breakup behind you many of you are now ready to start joining the land of the living once more, and this entails getting back out there and dating again! And that's just what many of the members of my Breakup Support Community are doing!

A few months ago some of the members of my Lifted Hearts Break Up Support Community were talking about trying out the different online dating sites. Having never been on any I didn't want to give my opinion without any firsthand knowledge. So I joined Match.com. Match.com was 'okay', but it did seem like most of the people on there were looking for 'booty calls'. That's okay, if that's your thing. It's not mine, but maybe it's yours. Of the very few men I did meet, one wanted to know what my 'bra-size' was right off the bat, and another made sure I knew he was just looking for a "really good blow job" (ahem, sorry to be so blunt!). All-in-all, Match.com had excellent software and was very easy to use and to navigate. It provided a good deal of space available for each member to describe themselves, their likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams, etc. And, as an added plus, almost every member had at least one picture of themselves posted, as well as other pictures of things that were personal to them (family, pets, etc). My overall opinion is that the site was easy to navigate and easy to use, the profiles were in surplus and extensive, plus contacting other members was a breeze!

I also did the eHarmony 'Personality Profile' which is free to 'take', takes HOURS to do (or so it seems), and then at the end of the 'Personality Profile' process eHarmony then asks you for a minimum of $59.95 (a nickel shy of sixty bucks!) on up to hundreds of dollars to join. I did NOT join and almost forgot about it completely. However, a good four or five weeks later I again logged in and was greeted with a page that stated I had 3 pages of compatible partners that they had chosen for me based on my Personality Profile, and if I join 'TODAY' I can see their profiles and pictures. Yep, they gave me three pages of men specifically matched up to 'me' and links to their profiles. As per eHarmony's promise, these profile matches WERE SUPPOSED TO BE 'FREE TO REVIEW', yet when I clicked on the profile links I was greeted with another page that stated I had to 'pay' in order to 'see' my match's picture or read their profile. Curiosity got the better of me (as they were counting on!) and I paid the MINIMUM of $60 to join (membership costs go up into the hundreds of dollars).

My total experience was horrible and complete in less than ten disappointing minutes. Of the 'three pages' of possible matches, only TWO or THREE members actually had a picture posted...the rest of the profiles stated that I had to 'request' a picture. What? Now didn't I just pay $60 in real and whole bucks to view pictures? Okay, guess I was 'had' on that eHarmony promise (I later learned that these aren't REAL members, but rather just people who took the FREE Personality Profile), but still I keep trudgin' on....even though I can't see their pictures maybe I can at least read the profiles; the profiles of these faceless 'matches' that eHarmony had chosen for me based on my Personality Profile. YOU GUESSED IT! Almost all (if not all) of the 'profiles' of the men that they matched me with were set to private (as the members had chosen not to 'share' them). WTH? Isn't that what a dating site is about? Reading profiles, browsing pictures, and seeing what strikes your fancy?

Oh wait, but I'm not finished with this horrible experience!

Of the three pages of 'compatible matches' that eHarmony found for me, about the only information available on any of these matches is a one sentence summary of what they were looking for, and then their answer to the question, "What three things are you most grateful for?" I guess these three 'pertinent' questions are posted there so that (for my $60) I get to try and distinguish from the 3 answers who may be my possible 'soulmate' and who may be an 'Internet Predator' or a 'serial killer'. Of course, it is a given that each and every one of them answered the three questions something like this:

1) My children
2) My health
3) My children's health

Seriously, how would you answer those three questions? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO TELL US ABOUT ANYBODY???!!! And where are those '29 dimensions' of love compatibility matches? Okay, now that 'non-surprising' profile info was totally NOT worth my $60!!!!  It wasn't even worth my time had it been FREE! I will admit, they had the option for me to contact each of my 'compatibility matches'. Here's the catch...you are allowed only ONE contact (called an 'icebreaker') with these people, and only what eHarmony tells you to say, or you can ask them 3 (or 4) multiple-choice questions that eHarmony has precomposed. That's it. You are not allowed to contact them again. Sorry, but I found this site to be a total joke bordering on fraudulent promises, absolute hype, and targeting vulnerable, lonely people who are hopeful in their quest to find a loving partner to share their life with. I almost feel like my hard-earned money was extorted out of me.

(NOTE: If you do join eHarmony do not use PayPal. Whereas if you use your bank at least you can do a chargeback, but PayPal will NOT refund you for an eHarmony purchase - even if it is only 5 minutes later.)

Here is an example of an eHarmony Profile:

Next, I tried Santa Match (although the site name kind of confused me LOL). Whoopee! This site rocked! Membership was a flat $17. Within minutes I was matched with pleasant looking, well-educated partners that were friendly, available, and looking for more than a 'casual' fling or sexual encounter. And in my local area, too! I'm still having a blast at Santa Match so this is one introduction site I wholeheartedly recommend. It is very inexpensive; they weed out the undesirable riffraff; it's REALLY easy to navigate; the profiles are extensive and complete - and, MY FAVORITE PART, non-members can NOT 'browse', which protects your identity from those nosy co-workers, exes, neighbors, etc. It's completely private!

This is what the Santa Match's site says:

Conclusion? Match.com - good site, easy to navigate, great profiles, modestly priced! Santa Match - it's a great introduction site, best service and for a fraction of the costs of similar online dating sites, easy to use, completely private, plus they focus on your online safety. eHarmony - bordering on a scam...save your money and buy yourself some hot, new threads and then head on out to the club down the street! Your chances are much better and a LOT less expensive of meeting your soulmate, or at least a future best friend, at a club down the street than on eHarmony.com!

I found ZERO websites that post the keyword phrase 'santa match sucks'; 346 websites that post the keyword phrase 'match.com sucks', but a staggering 1300+ websites that post the keyword phrase 'eharmony sucks'. Among those are:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070309212513AALGUKa

http://www.blacktable.com/keller040811.htm

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5988430.aspx

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071209205428AA4N9uJ

http://www.superawesomedating.com/eharmonys-neil-clark-warren-wants-your-money/

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071209205859AADiVNA

http://saucywenchtales.blogspot.com/2009/07/status-update-1-eharmony-sucks-hairy.html?zx=e737383dccd393be

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/romancescams/message/190905

http://mssinglemama.com/2007/12/10/e-harmony-really-does-suck-worst-web-site-of-the-year-by-time-magazine/

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

"The less you have, the more it hurts when you lose it." ~ From the movie, 'A Home of Our Own'

"Everybody's got to be from somewhere ... it's up to you where you end up." ~ From the movie, 'Taking Chances'

Today's Prayer or Thought:

"Today I'll look at my health and see if maybe I have put my physical well-being in the background. Sometimes our emotional self is louder than our physical self and we tend to skip our physical wellness. Today I'll realize that if I wait to hear my physical self cry for attention, it may be too late.

Just for today I'll take the time to get healthier habits. I'll eat better foods, and make sure my body gets the rest it needs. Today I'll park just a few spaces farther away, and forgo just one self-destructive habit. Before I know it, I may be pleasantly surprised to see that all these small steps have taken me to a healthier, happier emotional me, too." ~ Tigress Luv, The Break Up Guru.

NOTE: You can read my past newsletters at this link. 

Just a reminder that our Brokenheartsville Community has room for you! Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://brokenheartsville.com !

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

Tiggy

You can read my past newsletters at this link. 

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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