I JOIN A DATING SITE?'
Or 'Why I Hate eHarmony'
With your breakup behind you many of you are now ready to start joining
the land of the living once more, and this entails getting back out
there and dating again! And that's just what many of the members of my
Breakup Support Community are doing!
A few months ago some of the members of my Lifted
Hearts Break Up Support Community were talking about trying
out the different online dating sites. Having never been on any I
didn't want to give my opinion without any firsthand knowledge. So I
joined Match.com. Match.com was 'okay', but it did seem like most of the people on there were
looking for 'booty calls'. That's okay, if that's your thing. It's not
mine, but maybe it's yours. Of the very few men I did meet, one wanted
to know what my 'bra-size' was right off the bat,
and another made sure I knew he was just looking for a "really
good blow job" (ahem, sorry to be so blunt!). All-in-all, Match.com had excellent software and was very easy to use and to navigate. It
provided a good deal of space available for each member to describe
themselves, their likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams, etc. And,
as an added plus, almost every member had at least one picture of
themselves posted, as well as other pictures of things that were
personal to them (family, pets, etc). My overall opinion is that the
site was easy to navigate and easy to use, the profiles were in surplus
and extensive, plus contacting other members was a breeze!
I also did the eHarmony 'Personality Profile' which is free to 'take',
takes HOURS to do (or so it seems), and then at the end of the
'Personality Profile' process eHarmony then asks you for a minimum of
$59.95 (a nickel shy of sixty bucks!) on up to hundreds
of dollars to join. I did NOT join and almost forgot about
it completely. However, a good four or five weeks later I again logged
in and was greeted with a page that stated I had 3 pages of compatible
partners that they had chosen for me based on my Personality Profile,
and if I join 'TODAY' I can see their profiles and pictures. Yep, they
gave me three pages of men specifically matched up to 'me' and links to
their profiles. As per eHarmony's promise, these profile matches WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE 'FREE TO REVIEW', yet when I clicked on the profile
links I was greeted with another page that stated I had to 'pay' in
order to 'see' my match's picture or read their profile. Curiosity got
the better of me (as they were counting on!) and I paid the MINIMUM of
$60 to join (membership costs go up into the hundreds of
My total experience was horrible and complete in less than ten
disappointing minutes. Of the 'three pages' of possible matches, only
TWO or THREE members actually had a picture posted...the rest of the
profiles stated that I had to 'request' a picture. What? Now didn't I
just pay $60 in real and whole bucks to view pictures? Okay, guess I
was 'had' on that eHarmony promise (I later learned that these aren't
REAL members, but rather just people who took the FREE Personality
Profile), but still I keep trudgin' on....even though I can't see their
pictures maybe I can at least read the profiles; the profiles of these
faceless 'matches' that eHarmony had chosen for me based on my
Personality Profile. YOU GUESSED IT! Almost all (if not all) of the
'profiles' of the men that they matched me with were set to private (as
the members had chosen not to 'share' them). WTH? Isn't that what a
dating site is about? Reading profiles, browsing pictures, and seeing
what strikes your fancy?
wait, but I'm not finished with this horrible experience!
the three pages of 'compatible matches' that eHarmony found for me,
about the only information available on any of these matches is a one
sentence summary of what they were looking for, and then their answer
to the question, "What three things are you most grateful for?"
I guess these three 'pertinent' questions are posted there so
that (for my $60) I get to try and distinguish from the 3
answers who may be my possible 'soulmate' and who may be an 'Internet
Predator' or a 'serial killer'. Of course, it is a given that each and
every one of them answered the three questions something like this:
1) My children
2) My health
3) My children's health
Seriously, how would you answer those three questions? WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO TELL US ABOUT ANYBODY???!!! And where are those '29
dimensions' of love compatibility matches? Okay, now that
'non-surprising' profile info was totally NOT worth my $60!!!!
It wasn't even worth my time had it been FREE! I will admit,
they had the option for me to contact each of my 'compatibility
matches'. Here's the catch...you are allowed only ONE contact (called
an 'icebreaker') with these people, and only what eHarmony tells you to
say, or you can ask them 3 (or 4) multiple-choice questions that
eHarmony has precomposed. That's it. You are not allowed to contact
them again. Sorry, but I found this site to be a total joke bordering
on fraudulent promises, absolute hype, and targeting vulnerable, lonely
people who are hopeful in their quest to find a loving partner to share
their life with. I almost feel like my hard-earned money was extorted
out of me.
If you do join eHarmony do not use PayPal. Whereas if you use your bank
at least you can do a chargeback, but PayPal will NOT refund you for an
eHarmony purchase - even if it is only 5 minutes later.)
Here is an example of an eHarmony Profile:
I tried Santa
Match (although the site name kind of confused me LOL).
Whoopee! This site rocked! Membership was a flat $17. Within minutes I
was matched with pleasant looking, well-educated partners that were
friendly, available, and looking for more than a 'casual' fling or
sexual encounter. And in my local area, too! I'm still having a blast
Match so this is one introduction site I wholeheartedly
recommend. It is very inexpensive; they weed out the undesirable
riffraff; it's REALLY easy to navigate; the profiles are extensive and
complete - and, MY FAVORITE PART, non-members can NOT 'browse', which
protects your identity from those nosy co-workers, exes, neighbors,
etc. It's completely private!
Conclusion? Match.com - good site, easy to navigate, great profiles, modestly priced! Santa
Match - it's a great introduction site, best service and for a fraction of the costs of similar online dating sites, easy to
use, completely private, plus they focus on your online safety.
eHarmony - bordering on a scam...save your money and buy yourself some
hot, new threads and then head on out to the club down the street! Your
chances are much better and a LOT less expensive of meeting your
soulmate, or at least a future best friend, at a club down the street
than on eHarmony.com!
I found ZERO websites that post the keyword phrase 'santa match sucks';
346 websites that post the keyword phrase 'match.com sucks', but a
staggering 1300+ websites that post the keyword phrase 'eharmony
sucks'. Among those are:
Today's Inspiration, Poem
"The less you have, the more it hurts when you lose it." ~
From the movie, 'A Home of Our Own'
"Everybody's got to be from somewhere ... it's up to you where you end
up." ~ From the movie, 'Taking Chances'
Prayer or Thought:
I'll look at my health and see if maybe I have put my physical
well-being in the background. Sometimes our emotional self is louder
than our physical self and we tend to skip our physical wellness. Today
I'll realize that if I wait to hear my physical self cry for attention,
it may be too late.
Just for today I'll take the time to get healthier habits. I'll eat
better foods, and make sure my body gets the rest it needs. Today I'll
park just a few spaces farther away, and forgo just one
self-destructive habit. Before I know it, I may be pleasantly surprised
to see that all these small steps have taken me to a healthier, happier
emotional me, too."
a reminder that our Breakup
Support Forums & Community has room for you!
Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://liftedhearts.com !
Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!