1. Relationships cannot survive without commitment. Both commitment to each other and to the relationship. Make a conscious commitment to your relationship and to your partner. Work on eliminating blame, criticism, and invalidation from your side. If you are guilty of it, accept your responsibility and apologize to your partner. Try to understand your motivating reasons behind your undesired behavior. Every day make the effort to do at least one loving/caring act towards your partner!

2. Your partner needs to be appreciated as much as you do. Make an effort to express more appreciation for all those little things your partner does for you. Often, the little things go unnoticed but add up to so much more than the big things. Taking the garbage out, folding the laundry, making dinner, bringing them a cold drink, fixing the hair dryer, or even putting the toilet seat down!

3. Acceptance is key to successful relationships. No matter what, you have to accept every thing about your partner. If there is something about him/her that you simply cannot accept then the relationship probably is in trouble. Remember, acceptance is NOT approval. For instance, your partner may be an alcoholic. This is not your choice, it is theirs. It is also not your place to cure them - it is theirs. In the same respect though, it is your place to accept them for who they are and what they are - to accept that they are an alcoholic. But, in no way, does acceptance mean that you have to approve! Acceptance and approval are not the same thing.  Period.

4. Honestly take a look at your role in any relationship problems. Yes, you can change other people - simply by changing yourself!

5. Be aware of how you communicate! Are you guilty of hearing in a defensive mode and speaking in an offensive mode? Do you 'act' or 'react'?

6. Your partner is not a mind reader. Be specific when asking for something, or relaying your needs. If necessary, write them down on paper if talking about them makes you uncomfortable.

7.  Sometimes the biggest mistakes we can make is to think that relationships are something we have to 'work' at. Stop 'working' on your relationship! Develop good communication skills, acceptance, appreciation, commitment, and trust. The relationship will follow.

8. Be aware that power struggles and insecurities often masquerade themself as love. This is false love. True love is supportive. For more insight on true and false love read the online webBook, How to Get Over a Breakup, and for help in saving your relationship, mending bad relationships, and stopping your breakup or divorce read How to STOP a Breakup.

9. Most relationships can be 'salvaged', transformed, and bettered. Breaking up and moving on doesn't solve the problem as any 'issues' you may have will follow you into any new relationships.

~by Tigress Luv

For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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