The Break Up Guru Tigress Luv Break-up-banner-ex-right

Breakup Newsletter
Break Up articles
Narcissism Articles
Sad Love Poems
Relationship Quotes
Relationship eBooks

Aftershock Magazine: The Magazine for Moving On from a Narcissist

How to Break Up a Couple

Breakup Support Forum -

Break Up Eraser Kit -

Win back your ex

Breaking up with a narcissist?

Our Facebook Page
Our First YouTube Video
Our New Twitter Page
Join Our Mailing List

Stop or reverse a breakup, win your ex back

Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing
Breakup and Relationship Issues

by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass Slipper Publishing

You can like us at our Mending Broken Hearts Page on FaceBook

You can also like Tigress Luv at her Tigress Luv Facebook page
Advice on Relationship, Breakup, Commitmentphobia, Abuse, Codependency, Narcissist and Narcissism, Breaking Up, Poetry, Poems, articles, blogs, newsletters, books and more...

Love, break up grief, and relationship issue advice for breaking up and mending a broken heart


Abusers and Codependency

What is Abusive-Codependency?
(From Codependency 101 at

Abusers tend to display characteristics of the codependent personality, as well as do those who stay in abusive relationships.

Codependent Personality Disorder is a dysfunctional relationship with ourselves. The codependent is characterized by their obsessive and repeated attempts to live their life through another, or to live their life for another. To enable this 'switch' they attempt to control another and to control circumstances. The codependent may often feel like they are a victim, or that everything wrong in their life is another's fault. They have the tendency to blame others for wrongness within themselves, or to be hypervigilant to other's actions and opinions. They may attempt to 'fix' others, or feel an intense anxiety in a relationship. They fear intimacy, yet - self-contradicting - have an intense fear of being alone or abandoned.

Ironically, as much as a codependent person may feel responsible for others, may feel the need to take care of others, or may overly relate to another's moods, they still harbor the false belief that it is the other person that is responsible for him. He often will blame others for his unhappiness or his problems. If he has an issue it is almost always because of something another person said or did, or didn't say or do.

Additionally, where the codependent may feel that it is other's in their life that are 'over-controlling', it is in fact they, themselves, that are the overly controlling person. He is afraid that by allowing others to be who they are, or by allowing events to unfold as they will, that he will somehow, himself, be out of control. The codependent man believe only he knows best, he believes those around him should behave as he thinks they should behave, and he uses all kinds of little ways to get that person to do and think as he believes they should. He then becomes very controlling and if the other person fights this control, refuses to change, or remains adamant in their own beliefs the codependent will attempt to control and manipulate them even more - all the while claiming that the other one is the controlling one. He will use force, threats, coercion, advice giving, helplessness, guilt, insulting, shame, remove assets, neediness, selfishness, denial, manipulation, or domination - anything he can in his attempt to gain control over another.

Emotional problems are common in the codependent. Depression, anxiety, dysfunctional relationships, insomnia, addictions, or over possessiveness in relationships are all common traits among codependents. Additionally, a codependent often has a driven compulsion for 'more', yet an anxious feeling of incompleteness or emptiness will remain  - no matter what he has accomplished.

Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser:

  • Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship
  • Inability to feel comfortable when alone
  • Feelings of being different or not like others
  • Confusion, or a deep sense of inadequacy
  • Feeling either totally responsible or completely without blame
  • Extreme dependency on your mate, and an intense fear of abandonment
  • Unyielding and in need of constant control over all aspects of the relationship
  • Extremely low self esteem and may be very self-critical
  • Difficulty in developing or sustaining meaningful relationships. Long line of failed relationships of which the codependent believes the other partner was always to blame
  • Lies for no reason. Creates a 'false self' that the outside world sees
  • Denies or refuses to recognize that his actions are not 'normal' behaviors
  • Denies feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, or shame with self
  • Gets bored easily, needs to feel excitement

Common signs that you may be a codependent in an abusive relationship:

  • Difficulty in following a simple project through. Inability to concentrate
  • Unhappy. Joyless. Unable to to relax and have fun
  • Depression
  • Sadness
  • Fearful of change
  • Intense lack of self-confidence. Inability to make even simple decisions or choices
  • Denies feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, or shame with self
  • Inability to positively see alternatives to bad situations. Pessimism
  • Isolation from friends and family
  • Believe there is something wrong with you. Think you need to change to make your partner happy
  • Fear of making mistakes
  • Feel anxiety when faced with anger and criticism
  • Confusion between love and pity
  • Tendency to be a rescuer and seeks those who 'need' you
For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup

Article published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup Support Forums & Community at

Stop your breakup here!


Why did he break up with you?
Thank you for visiting! Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

Narcissistic Advice | Breakups Advice | Flip This Breakup | Bad Boys Keep the Girls | Breakups Org

"One love isn't all consuming, but one heartbreak can be." ~Glass Slipper Publishing
AFTERSHOCK MAGAZINE - The FREE online magazine for help with surviving the narcissist:

Copyright 2017 Tigress Luv, and http://liftedhearts.comThe Lifted Hearts Network All Rights Reserved -
Stop a Break Up and Get Him or Her, Girlfriend or Boyfriend, Back,
and mend a broken heart and get over a break up - Stop Ending Relationships

Questions about this website? Write the Break Up Gurus at... GlassPublishing at
(Please do not write for relationship breakup advice. Thank you!)

Win Him or Her Back -

The Counterfeit Heart, Narcissistic Ex -

Our Break Up Support Community -

Catch Him. Keep Him, Win Him Back -

Mending Broken Hearts -

About Us
Contact Us

Read more of Tigress Luv's 'Daily Break Up Inspirations' when you join us at