It’s Called a Breakup for a Reason
A breakup is almost always traumatic, and even if the two people involved in the relationship has separated on amicable terms, there will always be times when one or both of the people will miss being with their partner. It is during these times that the person or persons feeling this way will start to waver, and begin to question their decisions and actions that lead to the breakup. However, this is also the time when these same people should remember this simple sentence: it is called a breakup for a reason.
Missing the person that you were with, no matter how long you were together, is perfectly normal. There is actually no length of time after the breakup when it’s not proper to think of the person and start missing them. For some people, they might surprise themselves when suddenly, after years of not thinking of their ex, they suddenly start missing their ex’s company and all those great times that they shared together.
More often than not, you would start missing your ex during two events; one, you either experience a certain experience that you associate with your ex, or two, your current relationship is on the rocks and you start remembering the great times that you had with your ex. The second one is where you would also find yourself starting to compare your current lover with your ex. That’s when the problem really starts.
When you start comparing your current lover to your ex (or exes), you tend to remember only the good times. You tend to think about those times through rose-tinted glasses, and you might even start feeling nostalgic about them. However, you should keep in mind the reason why you’re no longer with that person to begin with. Again, it’s called a break up for a reason!
Rather than remembering just the good times (which is very tempting), you need to keep in mind everything that you and your ex did not see eye to eye upon. Most likely, those same reasons would still exist between the two of you! So even if you get back together with your ex, those same problems would still exist, and you would most likely end up in the same position that ended your first relationship to begin with.
It’s called a breakup for a reason! You break up with a person to be able to break away from all the bad habits that you formed when you were together, along with all the bad memories and thoughts that might have accumulated during those same times. You want to be able to break away from the person that you became after the breakup (when most people tend to devolve and act out), and start to become a better person.
You want to break up every connection that you once shared with the person, along with all those little keepsakes and treasures, material or otherwise, that would remind you of being with that person. In the end, when you break up with a person, you want to make that breakup clean and straight forward so that it does not taint any future relationships.
We believe that our very own Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru, has some of the most dead-on accurate breakup advice to be found. She writes about getting over a breakup, restoring a broken relationship and living with, loving and leaving a narcissist with the most accurate insight imaginable. It could be because she has been there -- and experienced it all -- herself.
Stop your breakup here!