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Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper Publishing
Breakup and Relationship Issues

by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass Slipper Publishing

You can like us at our Mending Broken Hearts Page on FaceBook

You can also like Tigress Luv at her Tigress Luv Facebook page
 
Advice on Relationship, Breakup, Commitmentphobia, Abuse, Codependency, Narcissist and Narcissism, Breaking Up, Poetry, Poems, articles, blogs, newsletters, books and more...

Love, break up grief, and relationship issue advice for breaking up and mending a broken heart

 

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blogs & Newsletters

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog

RECOVERING FROM EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Sometimes bad things happen to us and we don’t even become aware of them until it’s too late. ...more>>

FEELING UNLOVED: Loneliness after a Breakup
Perhaps one of the most difficult emotions that come after a breakup is the feeling of not being loved. To sum the emotion up in just two words? Emotional Loneliness. ...more>>

IS YOUR EX SELF-SERVING?
After my last 'relationship' (*ahem) ended I started thinking about how I gave and gave and gave ... and then gave some more. BUT, and a huge BUT, too - I couldn't think of one thing he had ever done for me. Not one stinkin' thing! Then I started thinking about this even more and I realized that I couldn't even think of one thing that he had ever done for anybody else, either, other than his boss (and we know that was strictly about job security). ...more>>

ARE YOU IN A BAD OR TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?
Toxic relationships are a fact of life for many people, men and women alive, both young and older. Often family and friends can see the effects in the relationship but the one living in it cannot or will not. ...more>>

SHOULD YOU GIVE YOUR EX ANOTHER CHANCE?
Your ex-boyfriend wants you back. He has made it clear that he is still interested in a relationship with you. Now the ball is in your court and you have to decide whether to give him another chance or not. ...more>>

WHAT ARE YOU? I'M A '5'!
How many of us who are coming out of the devastation of a relationship breakdown hasn't spent hours and/or days analyzing what happened, what went wrong, and how we may have contributed to the breakdown of our relationship? Very rarely, however, do we actually understand whom we are, and whom our mates are, and how together we just may not have had the compatible personality needed to have made a good 'match'. ...more>>

HAS YOUR BREAKUP GIVEN YOU A CASE OF THE 'DPD's'?
For many of us an 'unwelcomed' breakup leaves us needy and dependent on our ex and unhappy in our newfound 'singleness'. For some, these feelings can be intensified to the point where we become obsessive, leaving us with symptoms of borderline 'Dependent Personality Disorder'. ...more>>

THREE WAYS TO A POSITIVE BREAKUP RECOVERY
It is nearly impossible to live on this earth without experiencing the end of a romantic relationship. As we have discussed in previous newsletters (http://tigressluv.com) facing a loss of this kind can be very similar to losing a loved one to death, and in many, many ways FAR worse! Like a physical death, an emotional death can also cause intense feelings of heartache, loss, grief – and rejection. ...more>>

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog continues....

MAINTAINING YOUR DIGNITY AFTER A BREAKUP
"Please, please please please please take me back!"

One of the most devastating feelings that occur after a breakup are the feelings of being unlovable, unworthy and rejectable. You lose so much pride that it's hard to think of any way to gain it back short of re-gaining their heart and love back, and of being worthy of being in a relationship with 'them' once again. ...more>>

BETTER THAN A BIG OL' BOWL OF BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM :)
I just LOVE our Lifted Hearts 'Brokenheartsville' Community! We have so many 'very special' and insightful members there ... members who know relationships, breakups, commitmentphobia, codependency, broken hearts, etc...inside and out! And one of our very special members goes by the name 'DrPhil' .... no, he's not the Dr. Phil, but boy does he have the gift of making sense out of the senseless! He recently posted this reply (below) to a woman on our message boards. I thought his reply was so insightful that I just had to share it with you in this week's newsletter ...more>>

PSYCHO EX BITCH
In a past newsletter we discussed how some people set out to destroy the reputation of their ex (see http://tigressluv.com/trash_talking_ex.html). This occurrence is more common (than not) with a narcissist. A narcissist will stop at nothing to destroy the image of their ex. When I first met my narcissistic 'now-ex' he told me how horrible his ex-wives were. He belittled their children. He called the women 'psycho bitches'. He called them 'lying, cheating, greedy whores'. And why shouldn't I have believed him? Here stood a man that was putting on his best (albeit fake) persona. He had me totally fooled. He even had himself fooled; he was a narcissist and a narcissist is extremely gifted at the art of self-deception. ...more>>

MEN WHO FEAR COMMITMENT
Romantic relationships are not always easy. The truth is that the dating game is often rather complicated, and there is always a risk of getting hurt. One problem that women are often faced with is men who fear commitment. When a woman gets involved with a man who fears commitment, her relationship will eventually hit a dead end. At that point she will be forced to either tolerate being in a relationship that is not moving forward, or walk away. So how can a woman tell if she is with a man who doesn't want to commit to her? If your man does not see a future with you, there will be many warning signs. ...more>>

WIN EX BACK
How to Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend or How to Win Back Your Ex Girlfriend: Tips to Help You Stop Your Breakup and Get Back Together

Hello, everyone! This week I would like to offer you these Free and Valuable tips on how to win your ex back...ENJOY! ...more>>

16 Warning Signs Your Commitment-Phobic Wants Out
Once the CP (Commitment-Phobic Person) gets you (wins you), and doesn't have to pursue you anymore, they will start to panic - it's now time for them to leave the relationship before you start expecting the next logical step from them - which is a commitment!...more>>

'RECOVERING FROM A NARCISSIST'
Today I was reading over our Narcissist Support Board. WOW! Such insightful posts, many bringing me some major (and uncomfortable) triggers from my past relationship with a narcissist. If you don't mind I would like to share with you (below) some of these comments that I have read there today...more>>

'HOW TO KILL A RELATIONSHIP'
Ever wonder why some people are dumped? This list ...more>>

LOVE TERRORISTS AND THE COMMITMENTPHOBE'
I once said that just about everything one can go through, I have. Maybe it's a curse, maybe it's a blessing in disguise, but - whatever it is - it's true. I have 'been there, done that'! And being involved with a commitment-phobe is one of those 'blessings' I have had the blessed misfortune to have experienced many, many years ago. I know by heart all the stages, have lived all the ups and downs, and had realized - only afterwards - that I forgot to 'exist' during it all! ...more>>

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog continues...

CODEPENDENCY & YOUR BREAKUP
Codependent people have an uncanny ability to destroy every relationship they have been in. They tend to latch on to partners quickly, feel completely devastated or destroyed after a breakup, and feel empty and lost outside of a relationship. Although there are many, many books out there that attempt to explain the motives of codependent people, I have never found one that actually describes the reason behind what they do to my satisfaction! ...more>>

SILENT ABUSE -The Silent Treatment : A Form of Abuse
I believe the silent treatment (feigned apathy; cold-shoulder; silence; distance, and ignoring you) is the worst form of emotional abuse. It is a punishment used by abusers to make you feel unimportant, not valued, not cared about and completely absent from the abuser's thoughts. It is used as a form of non-physical punishment and control because the abuser mistakenly thinks that if they don't physically harm you then they are not abusers. The truth is, they are far worse at doling out abuse than the physical abuser. ...more>>

PROFOUND DYING WORDS
Quite some years back I was in a relationship with a man who was deep into the 'drama'. Now, it's true that many of us women have emotions that run deep and strong, and many a time have we over-dramatized our lives and certain situations... But it is rare to find a man that is so overly emotional that every day with him is wrought with nothing but drama, or a man that is so emotionally volatile or codependent that the entire family must walk around on tippy-toes lest we 'upset' him. ...more>>

GETTING DUMPED HURTS
The bad thing about getting dumped or abandoned is it costs us our self-esteem. We feel a full tidal wave of rejection bring us to our knees, sucking the wind out of our sails. We form an inner-hate and get caught in a self-destructive mode. We create - within ourselves - intense feelings of rejection, isolation, and a profound loss of love, acceptance, and control. ...more>>

A MAN AND HIS BREAKUP
When a Man Treats a Woman Well - and He STILL Gets Dumped!
Is your breakup making you fell insane? Do you panic if you have to go out in public? Does the thought of visiting family and friends make you want to hurl? Don't worry - a man's ego can take a huge nose-dive after a woman has broken up with him. It is so natural to suffer an extreme loss of self-esteem after a breakup. After all, a breakup is based on a rejection from someone you admired and respected - and when someone you think is grand 'rejects' you, and you value their opinions - then, basically, you end up rejecting yourself, too. Don't worry, your esteem and self-confidence WILL return. ...more>>

HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK EVEN AFTER THEY PULL AWAY'
Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner suddenly pulled away without any warning or became distant and avoiding? In one sad heartbeat, the relationship breaks down and you're left with no clue as to what went wrong. ...more>>

DO YOU ACCEPT YOUR PARTNER?
Recently my eldest daughter visited me. We hadn't seen each other in some years due to my inability to travel because of my health; of course, money was an issue, too. Our visit was fun and we had a great time swapping stories about things that had happened since our last visit. ...more>>

REVENGE ON THE EX
In my last newsletter I wrote about breakups and the 'trash talking' that sometimes occurs between the two estranged partners. It's sad that we often see breakups as war with a winner and a loser. We think we must win, that we must come out looking better than them...it's almost like we want to punish someone for rejecting us, making us hurt, or cheating on us. But why? Are our egos that small, that sensitive? ...more>>

TRASH TALKING
Recently I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years. He was very happy to see me, as I was him, and we chatted for a while amicably. Just one short week later I, again, ran into him. This time he had been sitting right next to my ex. Now, and as most of you may know, my ex is a narcissist - which means that he is highly self-trained in the art of deception... in other words, my ex is a manipulative liar hiding behind the mask of a likable, honest and good man. ...more>>

FUGLY
My son came to visit me this week, and with him came his puppy, Floppy. Now the minute I laid eyes on Floppy I just had to rename him to 'Fugly'... and for those of you who are a little confused on this new name I gave him, let me tell you that 'Fugly'...more>>

3 QUICK STAGES OF A NARCISSISTIC-BASED RELATIONSHIP
Stage 1. Meeting the narcissist (Being 'Born'):
The narcissist comes off as a very charming man. In fact, he is just too good to be true. He will entrance and hypnotize you with visions of his grandeur. He will have just SO MANY things in common with you that you will be reeling with a fairy tale-like enchantment. ...more>>

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog continues....

34 TIPS FOR A FASTER BREAKUP RECOVERY
1. Self-portrayal. Start a personal journal about your journey from heartbreak to 'better-than-ever'. I know one man who kept a record of his postings on our breakup board, starting from his devastating beginning days, to his healed and in love again days, and then turned them into an awesome book of self-discovery and hope. ...more>>

HE'S NOT READY TO COMMIT! OR IS HE? Five Signs He's Not Ready to Commit
If you want to know whether a man is ready for commitment, it's probably best not to rely solely on what he says. For most men, saying what they believe a woman wants to hear comes fairly easily. So if you want to know whether a guy is ready to settle down, you need to move beyond the words he uses and look at his actions, as these usually speak a lot louder. ...more>>

TOP WAYS TO GET YOUR EX BACK
- Tips for Getting Your Ex Back Easily

Going through a break up is a painful time. No matter how final you might think it is, there's always hope you can get your ex back, especially if you remember some simple tips. ...more>>

SHOULD I JOIN A DATING SITE?
Or 'Why I Hate eHarmony'

With your breakup behind you many of you are now ready to start joining the land of the living once more, and this entails getting back out there and dating again! And that's just what many of the members of my community are doing! ...more>>

HOW TO GET YOUR EX-BF TO CALL
So you've been seeing a guy for a few days, or weeks, or even months. You may have thought you were getting along great and maybe he was the one. Then he stopped returning your calls and texts. He's left you wondering 'why doesn't he call?' ...more>>

THE EMPTY, DECAYED HEART OF THE NARCISSIST
How can one explain a narcissist' heart? In one word: Absent.

The narcissist has an outer core - one of dashing beauty and spectacular wit, charm and intelligence. This is the 'image', the 'presentation' that a narcissist displays for his public; his followers, or his 'charmed circle' are the catalyst which he uses to bring his image to life. But it is not real. He is not real. There is no such man as the one he displays; it is only an image that you see. An illusion. The narcissist is a Master Illusionist. ...more>>

NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR. COULD YOU BE DATING A NARCISSIST?
It is hard enough getting into and maintaining a relationship these days. There are just so many different factors involved in today's fast paced world that marriages and relationships seem more difficult to keep together. This is especially true for people who show signs of narcissistic behavior. ...more>>

FOR WOMEN: HOW TO ATTRACT A MAN IN ALL THE STAGES OF HIS LIFE
Us poor women. It seems we spend our whole life dreaming of, or in desperate search of, that one thing. That ONE BIG IMPORTANT THING - gaining a man's undying love and devotion. Yes, there is but this ‘one thing’ in most women’s life that gives her life its all valuable ‘reason’ … and that ‘one thing’ is being totally enveloped by the warm glow of love’s flame. Women, deny it all you want, but it is true! ...more>>

THE PROPER WAY TO BREAK UP
I usually write my newsletter based for those who have broken up with their partner and are unhappy with that fact. But many of my subscribers remain still in unsatisfying relationships but do not know the proper way to break it off. This week's newsletter is for these people. ...more>>

WHAT DOES A 'TIME OUT' REALLY MEAN, AND WHY DO PEOPLE ASK FOR ONE
Some people may think they are playing it safe by asking for a 'time out'. For the most part, "I want a 'time-out'" really means: ...more>

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog continues...

BEFORE ENDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP ... What Questions Should You Ask Yourself Before Ending a Relationship?
1) DO I REALLY WANT TO END THIS RELATIONSHIP? Make sure you are SURE you want to end the relationship! Don't burn your bridges and then decide you want to do a u-turn and go back. ...more>

LET YOUR RELATIONSHIP GO AND IT WILL GROW (If You Want Your Relationship to Work You Should Just 'Forget About It'!)
I am writing this article to debunk the misconception that relationships are something that you have to 'work' at to make them successful. I am going to shock you by suggesting to you that just the opposite may be true! ... That the less 'work' you put into a relationship, the more lasting the relationship may be. ...more>

INFIDELITY AND GETTING BACK TOGETHER (How to Get Your Ex Back After a Breach of Trust)
How do you get your ex boyfriend back after a breach of trust? How do you persuade him that it's worth trying to recreate your connection? This is a difficult task, but not an impossible one. ...more>

I HATE MY EX!
"I hate my ex girlfriend!"
"I hate my ex boyfriend!" 

Do you? Or are you so passionately and emotionally connected to them that you have mistaken 'hate' for 'love in pain'?

Hate and love are both intense, passionate emotions. When we romantically love someone and they reject our love, hurt us intensely, or betray us we may replace our passionate loving attachment to them with a passionate hating attachment to them. ...more>

WIN HIM BACK
5 Secret Tips to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Break ups are always hard. The hardest kind of break up, however, occurs when one person is ready to move on and the other is still interested in continuing the relationship. If you have recently suffered a break up that was not of your choosing, you can probably relate to this. Do you want to get your ex boyfriend back? These secret tips are the best strategy to bring your ex boyfriend back into your life: ...more> 

IS YOUR EX IN YOUR FUTURE?
When we lose someone we love we experience an intense and deep grief. It is natural to grieve, but it may be enlightening to you if you understand that what you are grieving the loss of the MOST is something that hasn't even happened yet. Okay, I'm sure that was a very confusing statement - and one that you probably went back and reread a few times trying to understand - so let me clarify... ...more>  

THE NICE GUY IMAGE: Learn What First Impressions Can Instantly Turn Women Off
Little girls grow up listening to fairy tales about Prince Charming and the Knight in Shining Armor. They see their fathers as big strong men who will protect them from all the bad things in the world. And so these Cinderella 'wannabe's' end up looking for a man who is ...more>

'REJECTION FROM PARTNERS WITH 'ISSUES''
When we are rejected from someone we care about - especially if that someone has 'issues', faults, flaws, or personality disorders, we tend to take the rejection especially hard.

I think what really tears us apart is the blow that this rejection leaves on our ego. We tend to subconsciously value ourselves through our partner's 'acceptance' or 'non-acceptance' of us. So if he or she rejected you for another, we take it personally - believing that somehow we, ourselves, are flawed. It is hard for us to understand that their rejection of us has NOTHING to do with our value as a human being ...more>

Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog continues...

'NO CONTACT AND YOUR BREAK UP WITH YOUR EX'
The foundation of a successful breakup - or a successful reunion - almost always starts with 'NO CONTACT'. No contact is not a 'game', but rather a strategy. It is a way for us to 'rediscover ourselves' and also a way for our exes to miss us and want to have contact with us again. Therefore, 'no contact' works well in both situations; wanting to get back together or wanting to move on and recover ...more>

'BREAKUP ATTITUDE'
Good week everyone! Well, this week I received an email from a subscriber who requested that I do more newsletters with tips for winning an ex back. Hmmm? I guess I have been lacking in that area lately !!! So I decided this week I would share a small excerpt from my ebook, "How to Win Back Their Attraction" (which can be found at http://winbacktheirattraction.com). Below is just one of the tips from a list of my many in the ebook! ...more>

'THE DEMONIZING EX'
This week I want to write about 'demonizing''.

For those who are not aware of this term it means the act of turning someone's image into a 'demon'. In other words, and in regards to many of the situations here, it basically means when an ex (one who had loved, adored, or perhaps even 'worshipped' you when you were together) all of a sudden starts to see evil, bad, or extreme ugliness in you, or overt wrongdoings - when these wrongdoings never actually happened! Translation: they 'twist' good or 'innocent' things you do or have done around in their heads to fit into their distorted (false) bad image of you. ...more>

FALL OUT OF LOVE? IMPOSSIBLE!
In my last newsletter I compared the grief of a breakup to that of the grief of a death of a loved one. I spoke that grief for one whom we have lost through death was socially acceptable, but that most people frowned on grieving over a breakup. I also talked about how when one dies they do not purposefully and intentionally withdraw their love and affection from you as one does when they walk out or abandon you and your relationship. ...more>

'LEFT BY CHOICE'
If any of you have seen the movie, P.S. I Love You (starring Hilary Swank as Holly) you are most likely familiar with Kathy Bates' character as Holly's mother (who had been abandoned by her own husband years earlier). In one very poignant scene Kathy Bates' character is advising a crying and grieving Hilary (who's husband, Gerry, had died a year before) that she would have to 'move on eventually'. Hysterical and inconsolable, the grieving Holly snaps to her mother that losing a loved one to death is NOT the same as her mother losing her dad, who 'left' them, and that her mother knew not the extent of her (Holly's) grief. Kathy Bates' character simply responds back to her stating something to the effect of, "Oh, because it's so much easier to deal with when the person you love leaves by choice, is it?"
...more>

'WHEN GOOD RELATIONSHIPS GO BAD'
This week I received an email from a woman who had read my ebook, 'Women Really Do Love Bastards'' (http://whywomenlovebastards.com)

She stated, "I just purchased and am reading your "Bastards" book. I stumbled across it and feel its been a true godsend!

I have been the pampered bitch my whole life. Well, at least in the dating realm. I've been blessed with an abundance amount of beauty and have never really had to work at relationships with men. If I didn't get what I wanted... I moved on to the next. Now, 20 years (I'm 36) into dating, never been married.... I'm exhausted. I've dated every kind of guy there is .....trying to find out exactly what kind of man would be the one for me..... until 4 months ago when I met a guy who rocked my world to the core!
...more>

BREAKUPS AND BEING IN THE 'HOOD'
The THREE Big Changes in the 'Hood'

The Number One biggest change we go through in our lifetime is that of changing from childhood to adulthood. This change is such a drastic one that it takes 19+ years to accomplish.

The Number Two biggest change is going from that of being childless to that of parenthood. Whereas we have spent our entire lives up to this point learning how to let go of our parents and take care of 'ourselves', we now must learn how to take care of another, too...MORE>>

OSTRACISM AND THE EX - THE ULTIMATE REJECTION
Definition of 'Ostracism'
- noun: the act of excluding someone from society by general consent
- noun: the state of being banished or ostracized (excluded from society by general consent)

Definition of 'Ostracize'
- verb: avoid speaking to or dealing with ("Ever since I spoke up, my colleagues ostracize me")
- verb: expel from a community or group ...more>>

BREAK UP BLUES
When our relationships fail we can get in an awfully bad slump of depression. Friends, family, and even casual acquaintances talk to us and we reply, sometimes pretending interest or feigning an excited or happy response - both of which we totally fabricate on the fly because our souls are so depressed that we wouldn't dare reveal them to anyone else. The truth be known, we could care less who is talking to us, and we could care even less what they are saying to us.

All we can think is "Oh, woe...this all sucks; my life sucks. Why don't they just shut up and leave me alone with my misery?" ...more>>

NEEDING OUR EX
Why do we feel like we need another human being? Certainly it is true that we may want someone in our life, but 'need'? Hardly! This sense of need is an exaggeration, it's a false emotion. Intense desire for someone or something creates an illusion of need.

When we miss our ex-partners, or when we are trying to save a relationship, we exaggerate the 'good' in them and in the relationship with them, and when we are trying to get out of a relationship, we exaggerate the 'bad'. If you are the one that was 'dumped' (sorry) you may be exaggerating the 'good' in your ex, while they may be exaggerating the 'bad' in you, or in a relationship with you. Sorry, but it's true. The more you exaggerate their 'good', the more you may feel the false sense of need for them, and the more they exaggerate your 'bad' the more they may feel the false sense of need to get away from you ...more>>

IDEALIZING YOUR EX
Well, hello! I hope everyone had a great Independence Day weekend :)

 I was hoping that today I would be able to write to you that I was starting week two of being 'smoke-free', but I am sorry to say that I didn't even make it to 'day two'! There is just too much going on in my life right now to survive the added stress of nicotine withdrawal to it. LOL. I will try to quit smoking again in a couple of weeks -  when things in my life settle down some.

 Sitting outside in my yard Saturday night and watching the fireworks was the most stress-free time I've had lately. Unfortunately, this year my mind kept drifting away from the firework display and onto things that were weighing heavily on my mind since my breakup ...more>>

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO SWEET, LITTLE OL' ME?
It's been an especially 'awakening' week for me. I've done very much soul searching and purging and made a lot of resolutions. Here's my first one; this is day 'one' for me without a cigarette. Yes, I am a smoker - hopefully soon to be 'ex-smoker'. So - for the next few weeks - you will just have to bear with me during my lack-of-nicotine-induced nervous breakdown :)

That is one of the great things about breakups, though. The absolutely amazing metamorphosis we go through ...more>>

MY EPIPHANY OF 2009!
I have been helping people overcome the heartache of a broken relationship for decades. I thought I knew heartbreak inside and out, upside and down. There wasn't anything you could say to me that I didn't know of, hadn't experienced, or had an answer to ...more>>


Tigress Luv's Breakup Support Blog ... Articles published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.

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NOTE: The Facebook Comments section here has been closed due to spam from evil people hawking phony 'get your ex back witch-spells' scams. Sorry, but there is always someone who has to ruin it for everyone. They are usually greedy, selfish, narcissistic and ignorant people.


Why did he break up with you?
Thank you for visiting! Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

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