BREAKUPS AND BEING IN THE 'HOOD'

The THREE Big Changes in the 'Hood'

(Based on a section in Tigress Luv's book, How to Get Over a Breakup, available at http://overabreakup.com )

The Number One biggest change we go through in our lifetime is that of changing from childhood to adulthood. This change is such a drastic one that it takes 19+ years to accomplish.

The Number Two biggest change is going from that of being childless to that of parenthood. Whereas we have spent our entire lives up to this point learning how to let go of our parents and take care of 'ourselves', we now must learn how to take care of another, too. When we enter parenthood we suddenly have to think for two. Worry for two. See things in a truer light. Be responsible, capable, strong, soft, loving, planted, nurturing, giving, providing, settled, vigilant, protective, wise, pragmatic, sacrificing, and productive.

Except for letting go of our parents, and becoming a parent ourselves, nowhere in life is there a bigger change that we go through than that of going from 'couplehood' to 'singlehood'. The breaking up of a partnership is a drastic change in our life that leaves us with no choice but to suddenly learn how to change yet again … this time from 'two' to 'one'

Life is about change and letting go. Childhood. Adulthood. Parenthood. Singlehood. Couplehood. If you think about it, from the minute we're born we begin losing, letting go, and giving up! From the minute we enter this world we begin a lifelong process of 'letting go'.

In Big Change Number One we learned to let go of our parents and take responsibility for ourselves. We let go of the warmth and safety of the mother's womb and dare into a cold, unfamiliar world. We give up crying when we are hungry and learn to feed ourselves; we give up crawling and learn to walk. We let go of our tricycles and learn to ride a bike; we let go of our grade school friends and make new friends in high school. We let go of high school and go away to college. We let go of our reliance on our parents and we learn to stand on our own.

In Big Change Number two we learned to let go of our personal freedom and take responsibility for our child. We learn to place another before ourselves for the first time ever, and sometimes we even sacrifice our own well-being for the security, safety, and happiness of our child.

Yes, life is about change...but unfortunately most of us learn to resist change. We want to remain with what is safe and familiar! Change represents fear because to let go of one way and learn another way means we have to venture where we have never been - the unknown. We have to do something that is maybe uncomfortable, or undesirable.

For most children becoming an adult is something that they want to do, so they eagerly and willingly go through the 'change'. Becoming a parent is also something that most people eagerly and willingly go through.

But transitioning from 'two' to 'one' is often a not very wanted change, and one we fight and resist.

Very early in life we learn to meet an un-welcomed change with resistance. We don't want to go to the dentist. So we resist. We don't want to clean our bedrooms. So we resist. We don't want to go to summer camp. So we resist, and we fight it, and argue against it.

Change is just too scary, so we cling to what is familiar and comfortable. We resist moving on, we resist the change, and we resist the unknown. We resist the disturbance of our calm, orderly life. And the bigger the change, the more we resist.

But if you think about it change and letting go is as sure as time. Every minute that passes we have to let go of it, every minute that passes we change. We grow older, sadder, happier, sicker, healthier, wiser, heavier, lighter, more in love, less in love - yet we don't want to, so we resist. We resist giving up our time and try to cling to every memory. Letting go and change: two inevitable forces in our lives. Two truisms that no argument can ever disclaim. And two of the hardest things we must learn to master, yet the very two things needed to successfully go from 'two' to 'one', from couplehood to singlehood.

It's so hard to let go of the dreams we built with a familiar, safe partner. It's so hard to let go of the one whom we envisioned being there forever, mothering or fathering our children, growing old next to our side.

But what we must resist is not the 'change' itself, but the urge to stay stagnant in a time that doesn't exist anymore.

Who knows what the future will hold?! The future may hold you two together somewhere down the road, it may hold something just as wonderful, in fact it may hold happiness beyond anything you could ever imagine, but you will never know if you stand paralyzed, frozen in the past. The past holds NOTHING for you. It is waiting for you to let go, stop resisting, and look forward to change.

Last weeks' special held over:

Well, you know every week I offer my faithful readers a special deal on one of my reports or ebooks. Last week I put together a neat, little package I call 'The Breakup Eraser', and it is a two-phase method for stopping your breakup, getting them to come back to you, and making them fall in love with you all over again. For those of you who would like to take advantage of last week's special offer, I held it over one more week. Please point your browser to http://www.howtowinanexback.com

And, as usual, my readers are entitled to join the Brokenheartsville Break Up Support Community at a special, reduced rate at http://brokenheartsville.com

For more information on the getting over a breakup and going through changes please visit my site: http://overabreakup.com

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote: "You cannot step twice into the same river; for other waters are always flowing on to you." ~~Heraclitus

"WHATEVER you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows." MICHAEL LANDON (1936-1991) Actor

Today's Prayer or Thought:

"If I've been stuck in my past -- afraid of moving on, or seeking 'change' in my life -- I'll ask myself, 'Why am I scared?' 'What is it I'm so afraid of?' Is it because clinging on to what is 'known' to me represents security, and the 'unknown' represents risk? If I have fear of 'change' I have to remember to inner-reflect and see how in my past 'change' has always meant betterment and not losing.

Today I'll try to remember that often taking risks and venturing into the unknown is what brought me to many wonderful places in my past life. When I no longer fear risks, when I see change through eager anticipation, I give control back to me. I am no longer afraid but avidly looking forward to what new adventures my life may hold. " Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru

Just a reminder that our Brokenheartsville Community has room for you! Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://brokenheartsville.com !

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

Tiggy

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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