JUNE 23 - My epiphany of 2009!

I have been helping people overcome the heartache of a broken relationship for decades. I thought I knew heartbreak inside and out, upside and down. There wasn't anything you could say to me that I didn't know of, hadn't experienced, or had an answer to.

Well, that was until I started dealing with those who were coming out of a relationship with a narcissist. They just couldn't heal using the normal path that everyone else could. I just didn't get it; why did some people seem to find help, comfort, insight and condolence from my advice, and others seem to be so hopelessly caught up in the bitterness and anger and grief and rejection and pain?

At least that was until I, myself, experienced a breakup with a narcissist! I have always said God didn't waste any lessons on me, and this was one hard-learned lesson!

Narcissistic exes can cause their own kind of 'special' pain. It's like the relationship never happened. It's like they went from loving you to hating you and to then not even remembering you at all - almost overnight. They can be mean, heartless, lack empathy, lack remorse, lack love. And, just like a commitmentphobe, they at first idolize you then they devalue you, seeing you as an ogre and virtually turning on this loathing of you practically overnight (or so it seems). Feeling this sudden loss of your appeal can be especially hurtful!

Then the narcissist will take you to the cleaners and trash your good character all around town. They are such expert actors that they can easily fool people into believing anything they want them to believe - about you. They can turn even the smartest of people against you, bias judges against you, and even turn your own children, family and lifelong friends against you.

They can totally dismiss you as if you are not even alive. They can sit right in front of you and never once look at you.

Yes, breaking up with a narcissist is unlike any typical breakup you will ever go through...and hopefully unlike any breakup you will ever go through again. It is an experience that a few unfortunate people go though and barely recover from unless they know what to expect.

And the people in your life just don't understand. They say well-meaning things like, 'let it go', 'move on', and my personal, all-time most irrational and irritating favorite, 'get over it'. Ha! You haven't felt the cold, icy stab of devaluation and rejection until you experience the end of a relationship with a narcissist. This pain is what prompted me to write my new ebook on the subject, "The Counterfeit Heart". You can read the foreword to the ebook by going to http://breakingupwithyournarcissist.com and clicking on the 'foreword' link on that page.

BREAKUP TIP OF THE WEEK: Do not fret over what your ex may think of you. Their thoughts are based on their own distorted reality, which is not anywhere close the national average.

BREAKUP INSPIRATION OR QUOTE OF THE WEEK: When you think of the immensity of the universe, you can see how really small the person is that you are crediting with being the 'be-all' to your life.

BREAKUP THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: People are as happy as they chose to be. If you stop and think about it there are so many ways you can find happiness today, regardless of what may be happening in your life right now. Your attitude toward your day determines how much happiness can be found from this day.

Today stop blaming others for whether you're happy or not, and see that you, and you alone, are responsible for your attitude and the decisions you make toward your own personal happiness. Today stop being sad that roses have thorns and start rejoicing that thorns come with roses.

......

As always, I welcome your feedback, comments and 'whatnots' ? Have a great week!

Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru Lifted Hearts, and the Brokenheartsville Community - http://brokenheartsville.com

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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