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Tigress
Luv's Break Up Support Blog and Newsletter
by Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru
JUNE 23 - My epiphany of 2009!
I have been helping people overcome the heartache of a broken relationship
for decades. I thought I knew heartbreak inside and out, upside and down.
There wasn't anything you could say to me that I didn't know of, hadn't
experienced, or had an answer to.
Well, that was until I started dealing with those who were coming out of
a relationship with a narcissist. They just couldn't heal using the normal
path that everyone else could. I just didn't get it; why did some people
seem to find help, comfort, insight and condolence from my advice, and others
seem to be so hopelessly caught up in the bitterness and anger
and grief and rejection and pain?
At least that was until I, myself, experienced a breakup with a narcissist!
I have always said God didn't waste any lessons on me, and this was one
hard-learned lesson!
Narcissistic exes can cause their own kind of 'special' pain. It's like the
relationship never happened. It's like they went from loving you to hating
you and to then not even remembering you at all - almost overnight. They
can be mean, heartless, lack empathy, lack remorse, lack love. And, just
like a commitmentphobe, they at first idolize you then they devalue you,
seeing you as an ogre and virtually turning on this loathing of you practically
overnight (or so it seems). Feeling this sudden loss of your appeal can be
especially hurtful!
Then the narcissist will take you to the cleaners and trash your good character
all around town. They are such expert actors that they can easily fool people
into believing anything they want them to believe - about you. They
can turn even the smartest of people against you, bias judges against you,
and even turn your own children, family and lifelong friends against you.
They can totally dismiss you as if you are not even alive. They can sit right
in front of you and never once look at you.
Yes, breaking up with a narcissist is unlike any typical breakup you will
ever go through...and hopefully unlike any breakup you will ever go through
again. It is an experience that a few unfortunate people go though and barely
recover from unless they know what to expect.
And the people in your life just don't understand. They say well-meaning
things like, 'let it go', 'move on', and my personal, all-time most irrational
and irritating favorite, 'get over it'. Ha! You haven't felt the cold, icy
stab of devaluation and rejection until you experience the end of a relationship
with a narcissist. This pain is what prompted me to write my new ebook on
the subject, "The Counterfeit Heart". You can read the foreword to
the ebook by going to
http://breakingupwithyournarcissist.com
and clicking on the 'foreword' link on that page.
BREAKUP TIP OF THE WEEK: Do not fret over what your ex may think of you.
Their thoughts are based on their own distorted reality, which is not anywhere
close the national average.
BREAKUP INSPIRATION OR QUOTE OF THE WEEK: When you think of the immensity
of the universe, you can see how really small the person is that you are
crediting with being the 'be-all' to your life.
BREAKUP THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: People are as happy as they chose to be. If
you stop and think about it there are so many ways you can find happiness
today, regardless of what may be happening in your life right now. Your attitude
toward your day determines how much happiness can be found from this day.
Today stop blaming others for whether you're happy or not, and see that you,
and you alone, are responsible for your attitude and the decisions you make
toward your own personal happiness. Today stop being sad that roses have
thorns and start rejoicing that thorns come with roses.
......
As always, I welcome your feedback, comments and 'whatnots' ? Have a great
week!
Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru Lifted Hearts, and the Brokenheartsville Community
-
http://brokenheartsville.com
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For more information about getting over
the pain of breakup, please read How to
Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.
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