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Daily Break Up Inspiration - Denial and Acceptance
Daily Break Up Inspiration
by Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru, Taken from http://dailybreakupinspirations.com/
(You may read Tigress Luv's advice on Winning an Ex Back here, or Getting Over a Broken Heart and Mending
from a Breakup here)
“Hope is the
denial of reality.” ~Margaret Weis
Denial. We all have
it to one extent or another. Some of us are extreme in our capacity of carrying
around denial; others of us have it to a lesser degree, but still possess the
ability to deny certain facts. My father used to call denial ‘selective
reasoning’. If someone was in denial about something he would say that they
were practicing ‘selective reasoning’. Let’s just say that denial is simply showing a ‘selective
reality’, shall we?
Most of mankind’s
grief is caused by denial, which simply translates to a lack of ‘acceptance’.
Ironically, there is much peace to be found in ‘acceptance’, even though the
thing we are accepting may not be a very good thing.
Denial should not be
confused with ‘ignorance’. Denial is our way of not accepting something that is
too painful for our coping skills, whereas ‘ignoring’ something is another way
of learning to accept it and live with it. In this sense, ignorance can
be had from ‘acceptance’, but denial can not. Most of our grief is caused by the refusal to accept that
of which we do not want to accept.
As an example, let’s
take a person who is married to an unfaithful or abusive spouse and who has
chosen to stay in the relationship. This person may be in denial, or may simply
have chosen to ignore their spouse’s unsavory ways. A person in denial will
refuse to see the evidence put forth to them, and may even make excuses for
their partner’s poor behavior. They have not learned ‘acceptance’ and therefore
these people will be very unhappy. On the other hand, the person who chooses to
simply ignore their partner’s bad behavior has learned to accept it. Although
not an ideal situation (by any means!), they still will have more happiness in
their lives than the person who chose to deny the situation.
For many of us coming
out of a breakup, we tend to deny ourselves the peace that can be found in
accepting the fact that our relationships are over. Sometimes we do this
because acceptance signifies that we must now let go of our ex-partner.
Sometimes we do this because we fear ‘change’. And sometimes we just plain are
in denial because we have a strong faith and belief in the solidity of our
broken relationship. In all instances, I call the denial ‘magical thinking’.
keeps you trapped in the pain.
Denial and acceptance
are both a common step in the healing process. Denial occurs in the beginning,
painful stages, while acceptance usually occurs in the healing stages and is
key to our ability to let go and find peace with moving on.
~Today I will stop
being in denial. Today I will make a commitment to face the facts of my
situation and learn to accept these facts with grace and candor. While my
situation may not be my preferred one, I can find peace in letting go of my
denial of it.
Today I will admit my
relationship is over. I will stop my magical thinking and let go of my dreams
that my life will go a certain way with a ‘certain’ someone.
Just for today I will
stop living on wishes and rainbows, believing in unicorns and fairy tales, and
I will deal with the reality of truth. It is time to move on. It is over. I
will thank God for the gift of having had this relationship and I will accept
it as such. Just a gift I got to experience, if only for a short time, and not
a promise of a lifelong supply of bliss. Other gifts will come my way, of this
I am sure of. ~~
"I told you I was an asshole; the rest is your fault.” ~Unknown
“Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me.” ~Unknown
You will find peace not by trying to
escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace
not in denial, but in victory.” ~J. Donald
broken heart there is an acceptance that is not recognized by the bearer.
Only by accepting our broken status will our heart not seem so broken
anymore.” ~Tigress Luv
Breakup Inspiration, Denial and Acceptance - Inspiration by Tigress Luv,
The Breakup Guru (you may read more of Tigress Luv's advice on Winning an Ex Back here, or Getting Over a Broken Heart and Mending
from a Breakuphere)
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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