Attracting Men at All Ages
HOW TO ATTRACT A MAN IN ALL THE STAGES OF HIS LIFE
- how to get a guy to like you!
to Attract Men of All Ages...
FOR WOMEN: HOW TO ATTRACT A MAN IN ALL THE
STAGES OF HIS LIFE
by Tigress Luv & Glass
Slipper Publishing (You may join our mailing list by clicking here)
Us poor women. It seems we spend our whole
life dreaming of, or in desperate search of, that one thing. That ONE
BIG IMPORTANT THING - gaining a man's undying love and devotion. Yes,
there is but this ‘one thing’ in most women’s life that gives her life
its all valuable ‘reason’ … and that ‘one thing’ is being totally
enveloped by the warm glow of love’s flame. Women, deny it all you
want, but it is true!
But not so for men. Men look for success, exploration, experiences,
discoveries, sports, outside engagements, testing their strength and
stamina by overcoming challenges, and aspiring to be more by reaching
higher levels of personal achievement – and if they have
anytime leftover after all this, then they may let a little love in
just to hang around with it for a while.
Women look for 1) devotion from a man, 2) the closeness of an immediate
family, and 3) the security of a safe home for all of them.
Now I’m not putting women down! Most every woman I know does have
definitive and separate interests outside of a ‘man’! Many, many women
are extremely successful; have extensively traveled the world over;
have climbed mountains, sailed seas, piloted planes. Women have won
high-achievement medals and have reached the very apex of the corporate
ladder. Many women have made great discoveries and innovative
inventions; farmed and homesteaded on brutal and unforgiving lands;
worked for NASA; been top consultants; and have even lead armies and
But were you to ask most of those women whom are successful and/or whom
have reached great achievements in their personal life, if they would
be willing to give it all up for a family and the love and devotion of
one good man and I bet you 90%+ of them would – without
hesitation - say “YES!”
Ask a man the same question? Most likely you would get a big, fat “NO!”
See, men aren’t that easy to ‘settle’, and they’re even harder to
At first, though, they are easy - all you have to be is in the same
general area as them at the same time. This all starts about the 1st
grade; girls being chased around on the playground by the boys, boys
flirting with girls, girls egos being inflated as they coyly and
demurely flirt back. Catching a boy's undying admiration and devotion
is easy at this age. All you have to do is just show up! You
don’t even need to have front teeth :)
Ah, the TEENs
But, life continues on for us young girls – and so does our lifelong
quest for that ONE BIG LOVE that can only come from outside our selves.
We now hit our teens and we experience what we feel to be our first,
real 'love'. But most guys at this age aren't at all ready to 'settle'
or 'commit', so eventually we women experience what is to be known as
our first, real heartbreak.
So very soon is it that we then reach our 20’s. By now women’s
biological clocks have started ticking and they begin to earnestly seek
that ONE TRUE LOVE. But men in their twenties, well…. now......
…..not only do they not have a ‘biological clock’, but they do,
unfortunately, possess an ‘achievement agenda’.
Let’s just call both the woman’s biological clock and
the man’s achievement agenda each ‘Bucket Lists’
for now, shall we?
A woman’s ‘Bucket List’:
1) Find suitable man to father offspring
2) Secure a commitment from this ‘suitor’
3) Bear and raise the continuance of our species
4) Grow a nice garden and decorate the cave in Mauve and Peach, with
complimentary accents in a nice Forest or Hunter’s Green
5) Make amends with those we may have wronged
6) Spend more ‘quality time’ with husband
A man’s ‘Bucket List’:
1) Sail the world over
2) Become president of any place on the planet
3) Win the World Series
4) Discover the cure for the common cold
5) Land on Mars
6) Scale Mt. Everest
7) Taste the dust of every road on the Harley
8) Become Heavyweight Champ
While the woman’s biological clock starts ticking, a man’s ‘to do’ list
starts beckoning him to begin checking-off things on his list.
This means that just about the time a woman is yearning for a man’s
committed devotion he is off yearning for his freedom, disconnection
and segregation. The man hasn’t ‘experienced’ everything on his ‘bucket
list’ yet – and until that time he simply is just not ready to throw
out his list, give it all up and 'settle'. He still has exploring left
to do and mountains left to climb, and to ‘settle’ and get married and
raise kids, represents to him ‘sacrificing’ his life and giving up his
When women understand this more they might be able to finally
understand why men aren’t so much commitmentphobes as much as they just want to be able to take care of their ‘bucket
lists’, too – first and foremost.
Likewise, a man doesn’t understand women’s preoccupation with
commitment because he can’t understand that her whole, orbiting world
consists of just a small, close revolution around her beating heart. He
doesn’t understand that a woman’s whole world is only as big or as
small as her immediate family, her close personal relationships, and
her home and hearth. It basically stops in her backyard. Whereas, since
a man’s whole world encompasses the ‘whole world’, he finds it
difficult to limit his vision; he can see beyond the
Yet still a man will ‘settle’ in his twenties; and he will learn some
lessons, too. One of those lessons is that sometimes ‘settling’ is a
bad thing. Sometimes relationships don’t work out. And sometimes men
get the shaft when it comes to a broken relationship. Especially true
in his 20s. He gave up his bucket list for her and ended up having
nothing to show for it but a ‘loss’. He may have been betrayed. He may
have lost his house, or his children. He may have lost his hard-earned
money, or his pride and dignity. When a relationship creates a deficit
in a man’s life he loses faith in opening up and stops giving of his
self to that of another. His heart becomes untrusting and his soul
begins to doubt.
What does he do with his ‘relationship deficit’? Well, this little
stash of knowledge he tucks away in the back of his mind somewhere and
he then takes his ‘bucket list’ back out and, even though he is in his
thirties, he again steps up to bat. He has learned that relationships
don’t always end happily and that those adorable, eyelash-batting women
aren’t always as cute and dainty and innocent and gentle as they often
come on to be. Sometimes they can be cold and hard and bitter and
aggressive and assertive and spiteful and cunning and deceptive – and
just plain mean.
Still he has the basic human sexual and emotional needs and desires, so
he goes back out seeking a woman once again. Only this time he is a
little bit more cautious and ‘selective’. After all, he has a lot more
to lose this time around. Not just his personal freedom and his
well-respected reputation, but also maybe his property – such as a
house, car, boat, truck, or bike – or a business, savings, holdings, or
investments. He may even have children that he could lose custody of,
or visitation rights to, in a divorce.
Quite frankly, he is putting up at stake a lifetime of hard work and
personal diligence ... in addition to all those things left
to do on his ‘bucket list’.
Yet he still will cave to his desires, and may, once again, give in to
the temptations of the heart and ‘settle’. And, this too, may come to
an unfortunate and brutal ending. And he may, once again, lose
everything he has worked so hard to build.
40’s and Early 50’s
Fortunately, by the
time a man reaches his 40’s and into his early 50’s, he really is,
indeed, ready to settle. He has either put away his ‘bucket list’ or he
has experienced all he has wanted to on it; reaching a certain
threshold of success in his career, forming a close circle of loyal
buddies, and having challenged himself and won. Either way, he is now
able to slow down a little. He is ready to give love one more
But unfortunately, he
is finally ready to ‘settle’ just at an age when most women are no
longer looking for the ‘picket fence’ commitment anymore. Their
biological clocks have already stopped ticking and they now feel that
they want ‘more’ than the house, garden and kids. Where the men are
finally starting to realize that that’s all they
do want, the women are off aspiring to go higher and seek more than the
closed intimacy of a committed relationship is going to provide them
with. She is searching for more, at long last, but at a time when he is
finally searching for less.
Let’s just say that as a result of women’s new needs in her 40’s and
50’s that a man in his 40’s and early 50’s doesn’t always reach a
personal satisfaction in his love life with women of the same age. He
may experience betrayal, hurt, loss, humiliation, failure, rejection,
abandonment, and disrespect. He may be the victim of infidelity or he
may have been ‘taken to the cleaners’. He may be left alone, holding
the fort down, while she is out burning the midnight oil.
Either way, he will experience an all new heartbreak that is truly
unlike any other he has ever felt before. Just as he’s finally ready to
give woman what she wants she goes ahead and rips his heart out once
again, and in a way unlike any other heartbreak he has ever
Which leaves us with men in their….
Late 50’s and 60’s
The men in their late 50’s or early 60’s.
By this time man is in one of the following three scenarios:
has been in a good, solid, long-term and committed relationship for
many, many years
is a confirmed bachelor, deeply set in his own ways and firmly rooted
in a most independent status which is not open to, or comfortable with,
the thought of sharing with anyone else
has been so emotionally scarred by a series of bad relationships in his
past that he has been ruined to the possibility of any 'serious'
relationships either in his present or his future time
you are involved with the man in scenario Number 1 then you should
realize that he is very settled and highly unlikely to leave his wife.
So if you are having an affair with this man, trust me when I say, “he
ain’t evah gonna leave her for you, girlfriend!”
Sorry to be so harsh, but that’s the truth of the matter. So let him
go, give him back to himself, cry you a river – and move on. He’s not
yours, he never was yours, and he never will be yours.
If you are involved with the man in scenario Number 2 it should be
obvious that this man is adamantly single and that he doesn’t know any
other way to be. He is used to living and doing only for himself and
doing things only in his way, and he isn’t about to learn how to share
his home and his life with anybody else in this late stage of the game.
If you are with the man in scenario Number 3 then you should be aware
of the fact that these types of men are to be much likened to that of
tortoises. What they show the world – no, make that ALL they show the
world – is this hardened, tough, impenetrable outer shell. A shell
which they so successfully can hide behind that even they, them selves,
can’t connect with their inner most being anymore.
These men have a misconception of love, falsely equating it to personal
loss and emotional pain, and this armored shell provides them the
protection they need to avoid opening up their hearts, or being at risk
of falling in love again; this shell also is used to protect themselves
from their very own emotionally vulnerable inner being.
The men in scenario Number 2 and Number 3 tend to sometimes be overly
fixated on sex, as they feel that a sexual release is an acceptable way
for them to receive their human need for intimate love and closeness -
yet still be ‘safe’ from everything else that goes with this need.
Translation: Sex allows one to receive a ‘much needed’ human
interaction without the risk of being open and receptive to emotions
Both these type of men also tend to see the world as either black or
white, too fearful to venture into any gray area where their tough
exteriors could be penetrated by emotional receptiveness, spiritual
enlightenment (which makes one open and ‘vulnerable’), or even
philosophical thought (which may make one feel ‘weak’ and susceptible
should they dare to ‘ponder’ or ‘question’).
I know it seriously looks like - no matter what the age of man or woman
- that both sexes are in for a rocky road when it comes to cultivating
an intimate relationship. But this isn’t always the case. Some couples
can reach a happy medium – a fulfilling relationship in which the man
helps his women attain her need for a close, devoted connection, yet
also one where the woman faithfully allows her man to reach his need
for estrangement and personal achievements and acquisitions.
WHAT MAKES A WOMAN ATTRACTIVE
So what can women do to help a man reach this need? Well, women should
know that the best tool she has available in her toolbox is ‘trust’.
She needs to sit back, let her man take the wheel, and just ‘trust’
him. She needs to not lose her femininity by trying to control or steer
the relationship in one direction or another, but rather just let it
flow and trust that she will be all right, no matter what. She needs to
trust in him and trust in the fact that her man would never knowingly
let anything hurt her or harm their relationship.
Basically, what a woman needs to do, more than anything, is to just
relax and be a woman … To not
play the ‘games’ that many women play, and to always remain true to her
gender. A woman’s own femininity is the most valuable thing she can use to attract a man and the most
appreciated gift she can give any man.
It’s sad that in this world women are sometimes ‘forced’ to abandon
their own femininity. More and more financial difficulties and
one-parent households leave women no other choice but to abandon their
femininity, subdue their weaknesses and to toughen up. They become more
aggressive, more assertive, and, unfortunately, end up bitter, angry,
and hardened. They eventually lose touch with their soft, vulnerable
If it’s been a long time since you and your natural femininity were
acquainted it’s high time that the two of you got reacquainted.
“What?” YOU ask me… “What?
No playing games? No feigning hard-to-get? No coming on as a
successful, self-sufficient and self-dependent woman? No flirting? I
can truly just relax and be myself and still attract a man?”
That’s right - no games
Yes it’s true that men may ‘initially’ be attracted to those who play
‘hard-to-get’ or to the strong and successful ‘independent’ woman, and
*Men are ‘initially’ attracted to women
that ‘play hard to get’ because men are naturally stimulated and
intrigued by competition, challenge, and finding solutions (just read
their ‘Bucket Lists’!)
* Men are equally attracted to the
strong, independent woman because they feel a subconscious relief from
the pressure of having to ‘support’ a helpless, dependent or needy
But men truly stay with and adore a happy woman that is completely
comfortable in her own femininity.
A truly feminine woman is charming, delicate, graceful, trusting,
gentle, refined, accepting, respectful, soft-spoken, loving, receptive,
and sexy. A truly feminine woman can be in complete connection with her
real womanhood whether in jeans or black leather, hunting boots or
camouflage, or frilly lace or silk. She can be completely feminine
whether sitting at a desk in the Oval Office or tending to the flowers
in her garden. It is not in how she dresses, her career, or her makeup,
but rather in how she graces the room when she walks in.
She isn’t demanding, complaining, loud, controlling, dominant, bitchy,
vulgar, snobby, crass, hard, bitter, angry, aggressive, closed off,
distrustful, bossy, non-accepting, or argumentive. And - no matter how
hot or feminine she looks or dresses - a woman cannot hide these ugly
characteristics for very long. Ugly always burns through.
A man that isn’t in touch with his own masculinity is always evident –
even if he is dressed in lumberjack threads or packing a gun and being
escorted by pit bulls. Likewise, a woman who has lost touch with her
femininity wouldn’t be able to hide the fact by wearing a camisole or
tucking a fragrant flower behind her ear.
Like the saying goes, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but
it’s still a pig” (and NO, that expression wasn't invented
just for Obama!) ….
Comparatively, you truly can’t hide the lack of femininity with
cosmetics and lace. And at the same time you can’t hide true, soft
femininity behind a hard helmet and steel-toed boots. True femininity
is a delicate gift that will always fill a man’s senses and make him
feel complete, no matter how it presents itself.
And that, girlfriend, is what attracts a man at any age!
much of your femininity or masculinity did your last relationship
'steal' from you? I bet it is far more than you are even aware of! You
men out there can find an excellent resource for rediscovering your
attractive manliness at http://whywomenlovebastards.com and you women can find great advice for regaining your charming
femininity and becoming attractive again at http://winbacktheirattraction.com.