Is your breakup making you fell insane?  Do you panic if you have to go out in public? Does the thought of visiting family and friends make you want to hurl? Don't worry - a man's ego can take a huge nose-dive after a woman has broken up with him. It is so natural to suffer an extreme loss of self-esteem after a breakup. After all, a breakup is based on a rejection from someone you admired and respected - and when someone you think is grand 'rejects' you, and you value their opinions - then, basically, you end up rejecting yourself, too. Don't worry, your esteem and self-confidence WILL return.

As for breakups and social anxiety, it sometimes goes hand-in-hand with rejection, and I can understand that. When you reject yourself you may feel anxiety at the thought of being in public situations where you are exposed to the rejection of others. You feel open, vulnerable, and - like I said - EXPOSED.  TRANSLATION: SOCIAL ANXIETY. Don't worry! This, too, shall pass. (Hint: when you feel this way just rub and massage your palms or the inside of your wrists - warm them up...it is almost impossible to feel anxiety while you have warm palms - try it right now. See?)

If it gets to the point where you only feel safe cocooning in your own home with doors shut tight and drapes pulled - then I would say it's something to worry about.  But a small amount of social anxiety after a breakup is normal. And, to make you feel better about it, realize this: EVERY person out there feels some kind of inner fear of being exposed and found out for all the horrors that they imagine themselves to have. That's one of things that separate us from animals - our ability to think, rationalize, and use logic. However, in the case of social anxiety we often rationalize and use our logic in an inappropriate way. Oh, argh, huh?

Many men find that they treated their women great and still got the shaft. Is it possible to be TOO attentive to a woman? If you say 'yes' I think you have hit the nail right on the head. You could have been TOO available to her. If she didn't have to work for your love and attention then there is a good chance that boredom in the relationship (and with you) had probably consumed her. There were no thrills, no excitement, no adrenaline rush - something she feels she should have felt in a passionate relationship. Women are definitely stirred by the excitement of a man who makes her work for his attention.

Yes, maybe in retrospect you now see how you should have been somewhat less available...somewhat less compliant or less of a rescuer...somewhat more elusive or evasive. Something that made her work for you, and that took her mind off of herself and made her dwell on you. Think about this probability for a minute - the people whom you have dated in the past that were really into themselves are probably the ones you thought about all of the time - and became the most attached to, but the women that were totally into you and appeared to have no life of their own were probably the ones you didn't think about too often, or feel that attached to or in need of.

It is a simple fact that the one who invest the least in a relationship is the one who has the most power over their partner.

For more information read Why Women Love Bastards. 

~Tigress Luv

For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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