Luv & Glass
Breakup and Relationship Issues
by Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru & by Glass
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Stages of a Relationship With a Narcissist
Three Stages of a
Relationship with a Narcissist...
QUICK STAGES OF A NARCISSISTIC-BASED RELATIONSHIP'
by Tigress Luv & Glass
1. Meeting the narcissist (Being 'Born'):
The narcissist comes off as a very charming man. In fact, he is just
too good to be true. He will entrance and hypnotize you with visions of
his grandeur. He will have just SO MANY things in common with you that
you will be reeling with a fairy tale-like enchantment. He will be just
perfect for you; magically matching you to a tee. Amazingly, your likes
and interests are, uncannily, his likes and his interests, too! The two
of you are perfect together. A match made in Heaven! (Can you say
He will tell you horror stories of his ex. How they were all psycho.
How they all had affairs. How they all would go crazy on him. How they
all liked to spend money. How horrible all 'their' children were. How
they all would play psychological games with his head. And how he was
'oh-so perfect' and above them and these crazy acts of theirs.
He will then add how much BETTER you are than
they were. How he wished he had met you first. How 'normal' you are
compared to his exes. How every little thing you do is beautifully
special - how it is so unlike any thing he has ever had before with a
woman. YOU ARE JUST SO WONDERFUL! He will excite you with compliments
and place you high on a pedestal almost from day one. He will tell you
how wonderful, yet mistreated he was. And he has 'catch-phrases': "I
am standing in the light of truth." "I would rather
live in a cardboard box." "She was never happy; she
was mean and bitter." Trust me, all his exes heard this in
the beginning, too.
He will stretch his worth. If he lived off of his exes for years, and
was employed cleaning toilets for one summer out of all those years, he
will stretch his achievements from one summer to twenty years, and his
janitorial position from that of cleaning toilets to that of 'managing'
an entire company's maintenance department. If he never contributed a
dime to the financial responsibility of the union he will act like
everything was his and she 'stole' it from him (yet never will he be
able to explain to you how he could have 'afforded' any of it since he
only works out of necessity - and that is when he is in between relationships).
Stage 2. The relationship with the
narcissist (Being 'Suspended'):
Once the relationship starts to get established you will notice little
things about him that don't quite measure up. He starts to get 'overly
defensive' and sometimes seems overly hypersensitive to simple innocent
things that he perceives as insults. He talks endlessly about himself.
He only wants to hear your voice when you are praising him. He isn't
ever there for you. He never rejoices in your accomplishments, and he
never offers a shoulder in your weak times.
He finds 'socially-hidden' ways to punish you for your slights. Silent
treatments. Disaffection. Sexual withdrawal. Emotional battering.
He will self-pity himself endlessly, hugging himself and playing the
victim. He is never wrong about anything. Just ask him.
He will also start to 'segregate' the two of you, compartmentalizing
his life with you, and his life outside of you. He treats you as a
rival, getting angry with you if you get more attention than he does
when out together socializing. He feels uncomfortable around your
peers, and will insult them in any way that he can.
He lives off of you, often throwing you into financial ruin. He'll
expect limos and toys. Silks and spurs.
Stage 3. The end of the relationship with a
narcissist ('Being 'Killed'):
When the narcissist is finished with you, he
simply 'erases' you from his life. He'll lie about you to others to
save his face. He will demonize you and ostracize you. His new 'flame'
will be awed by his fake charm (that you once fell for) as he quickly
puts her up on your old pedestal, removing you completely. You will be
astonished how he can so completely delete you from his own reality. He
will then make sure that you know that any breakup is war, and both
parties must separate only as dire enemies. He will stop at nothing
short to be the 'winner' in this war.
The sad thing is you have to watch him destroy another woman, and you
can't do anything about it. This is the hardest thing to take.
For more information on the narcissist ex, and to read many more articles
on narcissism, please visit our site: http://breakingupwithyournarcissist.com
These stages, above, are the stages of a relationship with a narcissist~!
Today's Inspiration, Poem
"The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the
empty, writhing shells aside." -
"A man who claims all his exes are 'psycho' should ask himself why he
lived off of them for years and years and years and years. Wasn't he
afraid of being slashed in his sleep by these 'demented' women?" -
Prayer or Thought:
over-exaggerate your ex's good points and under-acknowledge their bad.
Do not put your ex on a pedestal! The funny thing about being 'dumped'
is that we unconsciously build up our ex's worth in our minds. We start
to make them into better beings than they really are, erroneously
making them to be more powerful and 'needed' influences in our lives.
Unfortunately, while we are building them up to Higher Power status in
our minds, they are ripping our worth to shreds in order to find the
strength to leave us.
This is especially true when we love a narcissist. We mistakenly love
the 'false persona' that he or she displays to the general public, or
the 'fake charmer' that they were in the beginning, while denying the
existence of the very real - and very flawed - man
or woman that we see in private.
Today let's make a conscious effort to see our ex in the real light of
day. To see that he or she had faults and flaws, and are not quite as
deserving of the 'godlike' image our grief has created of him or her in
a reminder that my Breakup
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Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, we welcome
feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.
Have a great week everyone!
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!
Thank you for visiting! Tigress
Luv, The Breakup Guru
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