16 Warning Signs Your Commitment-Phobic Wants Out
By Tigress Luv

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Once the CP (Commitment-Phobic Person) gets you (wins you), and doesn't have to pursue you anymore, they will start to panic - it's now time for them to leave the relationship before you start expecting the next logical step from them - which is a commitment!

The non-committer will freak out at even the slightest hint or the most remote reference to marriage. He may have near panic or anxiety like symptoms if 'the talk' is even hinted at.

Commitmentphobic people often put their relationships into reverse (commonly called back-pedalling). The back-pedaller consistently breaks dates. He is the 'no-show' man more often than not. You will start to feel more and more disappointed and let down every time you make plans with the CP, as the CP more and more doesn't show up, shows up late, doesn't call when they say they will, or stops all contact for days - all while you wait around, dutifully having faith in them and making up excuses for their behavior. Often times, if you get really agitated or breakup with the CP, the CP may make huge plans to reconcile with you, yet only gives it half-hearted attempts. Just as the CP did with the relationship. You will soon see a pattern of half-hearted attempts in everything the CP does within the relationship.

The CP...

1. starts backing away

2. gives off mixed messages

3. excludes you from their life - separating and compartmentalizing 'you' and 'them (their-life-outside-of-you)'

4. avoids meeting or being with your friends, family, coworkers, etc

5. makes you feel like you are last on their list

6. reverses sexual patterns, the CP usually leaves it all up to you to make all the sexual advances, or to initiate any sexual contact

7. begins to schedule your time together, or your together-time starts to become just a 'standing date' (i.e. Tuesdays lunch 1:00, every other Saturday)

8. avoids staying overnight at your place, or avoids allowing you to stay overnight at their's. Has lame excuses as to why

9. treats your simple requests as if they were controlling and demanding 'orders' or 'commands'. The CP, especially, doesn't like to be 'expected' to do anything

10. makes you feel like your needs are never acknowledged or that when you talk to the CP they really aren't 'hearing' what you are saying, or interested in your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, or opinions

11. points out your good qualities but at the same time seems to be upset when you display them

12. finds lame reasons why they can't pick you up, visit with you, etc. The CP has legitimized these excuses and has conveniently laid the blame at your feet...

    1. your apartment is too far away for the CP to have to drive to

    2. your showers too hot/cold

    3. they have to be to work early

    4. your carpet makes them itch

    5. your dog hates them

    6. they are uncomfortable being in your neighborhood

13. finds or invents faults in you and reasons why you two won't make it as a couple

14. makes you feel that there may be another woman/man involved (and if there is another person involved with the CP, the CP makes you feel like you are the 'special' one, or they show remorse and may even promise to not see the other person again)

15. makes false promises, or promises that they cannot keep. For example, because of their inability to commit to ANYTHING, including being or NOT being in a relationship, if you threaten to leave the CP they may feel frightened of losing you and make a promise to you that they will change. They may even beg you for your forgiveness.

16. cannot commit to 'working on the relationship' and shows obvious uneasiness if you want to talk about the relationship or discuss relationship issues

The above article is an excerpt from my ebook, 'Dream Chasers: The CP Addiction'. This ebook, along with my ebook 'From Commitment Phobe to "I Do!"' are sold as a set for only $24 and can be found at http://commitmentphobia.net . If you are desperately in love with a man or woman that won't make a commitment to you, these eBooks are a must have for you!.

Section 2

Today's Inspiration, Poem or Quote:

"The hardest thing in the world to break free of is our connection to a commitmentphobic person, simply because they hook you with the 'maybe'." ~Tigress Luv

"A relationship with a CP is like a drive on an endless highway, with the CP always behind the wheel." ~Tigress Luv

Today's Prayer or Thought:

"Today, I'll look at the way I feel unloved or uncared for as a result of my relationship with a CP, and see if I've been rejecting myself even more than I think they did.

The more I believe that I am worthy of love and care, the less likely I will be to believe that my entire existence was based on the acceptance or rejection of one other person."~~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

Just a reminder that our Brokenheartsville Community has room for you! Membership is only $19 to YOU at http://brokenheartsville.com !

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter! As always, I welcome feedback and new ideas for future newsletters.

Have a great week everyone!

Tiggy

You can read my past newsletters at this link. 

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For more information about getting over the pain of breakup, please read How to Get Over a Breakup, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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