How to Get Over a Breakup: 10 Breakup
1. How to Get Over a Breakup: Be
Don't over-exaggerate your
ex's good points and under-acknowledge their bad. Do not put your ex on
The funny thing about being
'dumped' is that we unconsciously build up our ex's worth in our minds.
We start to make them into better beings than they really are,
erroneously making them to be more powerful and 'needed' influences in
our lives. Unfortunately, while we are building them up to Higher Power
status in our minds, they are ripping our worth to shreds in order to
find the strength to leave us.
This is especially true when
we love a narcissist. We mistakenly love the 'false persona' that he or
she displays to the general publis, while denyingt he existance of the
real man or woman that we see in private.'Devaluing' their
mate is an abuse tactic often used by narcissists in a breakup. To read
up about narcissists and why they demonize or devalue you - plus their
other 'subtle' abuse tactics, please visit Breaking Up
With Your Narcissist.)
How to Get Over a Breakup: Accept It
Accept that the breakup did
occur and that the relationship is over. By refusing to accept this you
are only lengthening the grief process. You cannot keep a relationship
alive in your 'head' by denying the breakup occurred, or by thinking
about the relationship and rehashing things over and over. Whether you
accept it or not the facts still remain: You have broken up. The
relationship is over. And you will be okay. I
one of the the most important steps for how to get over a breakup.
3. How to Get Over a Breakup: Put 'You' First
If you don't find value in
you, who will? Pamper and love yourself first and foremost. This is not
the time to turn your back on you, but rather a time to embrace you.
God made your arms just long enough to embrace yourself. Try it. No one
is looking! Go ahead and put your arms around you and give yourself a
huge, cradling hug! Of all the people in your life, you are the only
one that will never abandon you.
4. How to Get Over a Breakup: Write Your
Start your own personal
journal about your journey from your heartbreak to 'better-than-ever'.
I know one man who kept a record of his breakup by posting on the
Lifted Hearts break up board at http://liftedhearts.com,
starting from his devastating beginning days, to his healed and in love
again days, and then turned them into an awesome book of self-discovery
and hope. You can find a great source made specifically for journaling
through your breakup with the book, My Breakup Keepsake,
found at http://mybreakupkeepsake.com.
5. How to Get Over a Breakup: Forgive Him or
Find forgiveness for your ex
- and for yourself. It is impossible to heal
without forgiveness. Understand that your ex isn't looking to hurt you,
but rather looking to find his or her own happiness.
6. How to Get Over a Breakup: Accept That You
Recognize that you cannot
will yourself to not love someone. You loved your ex, and perhaps you
always will. Quit beating yourself up over the fact and quit trying to
find the magic bullet that will slay your love. It's okay to love
someone that you are not with, and may never be with, but it's not okay to try to fall out of love with someone.
7. How to Get Over a Breakup: Make a Plan
Get a goal and implement it.
Plan out your new goal and start with step one, not finishing until
you've accomplished the final step. This goal could be to write a book,
grow a garden, change careers, go back to school, or lose twenty
pounds…having a goal gives you something to focus on and work towards.
It keeps you from dwelling on what was and keeps you avidly looking
forward to what 'will' be.
How to Get Over a Breakup: Change It Up
Get rid of the
same-ol'-same! Alter your routine, rearrange your home, or remodel a
room. Get a new hairdo, buy a new car, volunteer at a local charity….
anything that changes your typical lifestyle can be most rewarding
during a breakup. Sometimes the old and the 'familiar' can be
devastatingly sad when going through the transition from two to one, so
change it up!
You want to learn how to get over a breakup, and you can't do that if you keep living in the breakup.
How to Get Over a Breakup: Keep Yourself Clean - and You Know What I Mean!
This is not the time to turn
to alcohol, drugs, or one-nights stands in a feeble attempt to kill
your pain. It only adds to your problems and can end up being a
permanent reminder to a temporary situation. Even simple things such as
energy drinks or too much caffeine can cause anxiety or escalate
out-of-hand emotions to full-blown panic attacks - which are a very
common occurrence during a breakup. Learn to cope with out-of-hand
emotions by spirituality, soothing music, sipping tea, taking a
'time-out', reading a book, or - my favorite - walking!
I walked myself into the sexiest legs and prettiest tan during my
breakup. What an added bonus that was!
How to Get Over a Breakup: Date Again
Don't worry about all the
advice you hear about waiting to date again. Most of it's bunk. Dating
again gets you out of the house, where breakup depression can fester
and turn into something far worse. Dating again always restores a
shattered ego, which is a very common by-product of a breakup. Dating
again may also show you that there are millions of other people out
there that can be as wonderful as your ex, or perhaps even more
wonderful! If you open your heart back up and let new people in you
will feel better.
These ten things above are must-do things for getting over a breakup!
And, still, the best advice ever is in my report, How to Get Over a Breakup.
published by Tigress Luv & Glass Slipper publishing, the Breakup Gurus. For more
breakup advice and forums please join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup
Support Forums & Community at http://liftedhearts.com.
Stop your breakup here!